Signs InThe Middle Of Confusion

It's been a while since I posted. A lot has been happening recently.

First of all, in the plan to move I put all pf my eggs in one basket. I had a mew place lined up, but unfortunately it won't be ready until November, so I am staying with my Dad and stepmom for a few weeks. I'll pay them room and board as well as help them with the things that they can no longer do. 

This isn't a problem because I love both of them very much, and sitting in their back yard in the early morning and in the evenings is a witch's dream come true. 

For a little while, I have wavered on my path. For some reason I wasn't feeling the call of Wicca, so I was going back into Christianity. It doesn't always feel right, but I had the thought that it was where I should go.

Yesterday while in my hometown ( where the coolest new age shop is) with my dad and stepmom at the American Legion supporting an event, we sat down at one of the wooden tables to eat. I don't know what made me look down, but when I did, I saw a pentagram carved into the wood. 

I was mesmerized! Here I was surrounded by the images that always makes me turn back to the path-the river where I would meditate and  commune with nature and in fromt of me and my family was the SYMBOL of the path I have been working on. I couldn't take my eyes off of it.

Christians would say that this was put there to test me, but I know that this was actually a reminder of who and what I am supposed to be. I know that the universe is telling me that the reasons I hesitate with beong Catholic is because I am a witch in my heart and soul. I cannot deny who I am.

I somehow ended up with the Rune of wisdom in my pocket this past Friday before I began hauling things into my storage unit. It is a clear sign of what the final months of this year should be for me.

Blessed be!

Raven

Happy Mabon

 

May all of the blessings of Mabon be upon you!!

So mote it be!

Blessed be!

Raven

Happy Labor Day!

 Today is a day to celebrate the end of summer and the beginning of fall and the beauty that it brings to us, including the beginning of school.

Soon we will see Samhain, I can't wait! 

Every holiday that comes through the fall and winter brings hot apple cider and nostalgia. 

Memories of the past mix with the new memories that we are making today until the day comes when we move onto the Summerlands.

Today is also the day that we celebrate the worker and unions. I  hope that those who are struggling to find work will find it soon, and those who have a job have pride in what they do.

Everyone have a safe, healthy and fun day today!

HAPPY LABOR DAY!!

Raven

Connecting To Nature

 With the changes the world is going through to get to Mabon, I am feeling a strong desire to spend more time connecting with Mother Nature. 

I feel the nostalgia strongly these days.  I want to go back to the way the world was when I first learned about Wicca and witchcraft. 

I miss the places I went to connect with nature as I learned how to harness my energy and see the fae and all magickal beings. 

There was a park that I went to that I would spend time growing in my spiritual path. I could walk, commune with nature and feel peace. I miss it.

I know that there is a place where I can go now that I can do the same, I just don't go as often as I used to. I haven't had the motivation to go, mostly because people actually bother you when you go and there isn't any peace because if you are a female there, men want to hit on you or people are loud and obnoxious. There are also homeless people there using it as shelter.

It looks like I will have to find a time to go when I can find peace, but that is kind of hard sometimes.

I am still planning my Mabon celebration, I am excited. I want to work on myself and being more connected to nature. I want to work on how I handle living and people. 

I want to free myself completely of the negativity at my job since I will be working there for a very long time now that I have completed another goal for this year.

I have finally accomplished another goal-I finally set up my 401k at work, and putting money in my savings every week, I feel like I am one step closer to what I want to do. I am starting to feel more at ease with my financial situation. I feel that one day soon, I will not only be able to move, but to save to get my license back and a car. I can also save for a vacation.

One more step closer to what I need to do in 2020! How awesome is that?! Thank you Goddess!!

Blessed be!

Raven

To Be A Witch

I was looking through Pinterest today searching for ideas, inspiration and correspondence on Mabon today when I found this wonderful picture on what it is to be a witch. It is absolutely beautiful!

Blessed be!

Raven

 

The Celtic Connection And Mabon Resources

 Whenever I look up information on Wicca, Witchcraft, or anything related to magick, I always have a great "Go-To" web site, Celtic Connection.

So today I wanted to share their page on Mabon. It provided wonderful information:  https://wicca.com/pagan-holidays/mabon.html

The Celtic Connection has been around for a very long time, and is full of wonderful information and a shop that has great things.

I began the plans for Mabon, and since I want to make this a special celebration, I will use as much information as possible to do so.

Blessed be,

Raven

Happy September 1

The first day of  September is here!!  

I love September!!  Labor Day and Mabon are coming.  You have to love a bank holiday that gives you a three day weekend AND the first day of my favorite season: FALL!!

Normally, it is the beginning of the school year, but for the moment, we are doing things a bit different until the world can heal. It is still a time of pencils, books, and learning.

I can't wait to start to see the Autumn colors and celebrate the time of change.

By the end of the month I will have a new home and a new journey to take. I cannot wait for that either. I am ready for the next steps in my journey away from where I am.

This month will also bring new adventures in finances, this will help with my future. It will be nice to do more positive things with my life. I want to have a little bit of money in my pocket for the future.

The goals for September are to move, start a 401k at work, celebrate Mabon, and to save more money for my move and for the future.

This month will also be a month of purging, cleaning, working and preparations...and hot apple cider!

Happy September fellow magick beings!

Blessed be

-Raven 

Life

 It's been quite a week. The summer heat has been rough at work. I am counting down the days until fall and the time change comes.

It looks like I will be in a new home by or before October. I can't wait for it to happen. I can't wait to get a home where I plan to spend the rest of my time until it's time to move back to my hometown.

I can't wait to finish accomplishing the goals that I set for myself for this year. 

Soon, we will see the beautiful changes of the season, I love it! Watching the leaves change color and the air become crisper makes life better in my opinion.

Labor day is a week away, and with it comes the beginning of it all. The only sad part about this season is that the new school year is not happening as it should because of the pandemic. I miss seeing the school buses going by...they always gave me a sense of nostalgia.

This last week, I got a little lucky.  We had someone return to work after a long absence because of his sick child...I was doing his job the entire time while being bullied by a very hateful human being.  I am now doing a different job where she doesn't have any reason to talk to me unless it is necessary, so I have not been stressed out at all this week. I can't wait until the world rights itself so that we can bring in the staff that had to be laid off. Usually we pick up around the fall and early winter, with the world situation right now, I can only hope that it will not be that bad.

It has been a weird year for me at the age of fifty.  I can't believe that it ended up like this, but it is what it is so I can only take things one thing and day at a time while being patient. Things will get better, and the world will find a new way to deal with things after this. I was looking forward to turning fifty and making it memorable, but it looks like the world had a different thought on making me always remember this age. Gotta love nature and the state of the world.

I am planning on a vacation. I finally get one week, and it feels great to start going in a normal direction in life  It finally feels like I am doing right things to move forward in life. 

This week, I will set up my 401k, try to work more hours in our other department, and start packing an saving for my IRA plan. 

I may have to wait for a while to go to the dentist to get my teeth fixed. I want to save a bit more for that. I normally hate going to the dentist because it means that someone has to spend time in my personal face space. It drives me nuts, but I know that I have to do eventually.

Recently, I have been reading more. Mostly Outlander or Regency romances. It has been years since I have wanted to read a book for relaxation. I think that I am starting to do things as I used to do. I love reading.

I am feeling more and more like i used to feel. The person I miss more than anyone on the planet. I am happy that I can see her once again.

Have a great day!

Raven

Outlandish Knitting Treat, Cooking, Loving Fall

Today I received great news!!  

I love Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series and I love knitting.  This is no secret. So this news comes as a double joy for me.

Diana Gabaldon's publisher, Random House has published a book for knitters!! YAY!!

Outlander Knitting will be available on October 27. I can't wait!! The fall and winter just became more interesting!

I love to knit!  I have a new pattern and yarns that I am looking forward to doing.  There are some new techniques in the pattern that I am looking forward to learning how to do.

What I love about knitting is that I can do it while watching television, listening to books on audio, or listening to music when the pattern is simple.

I also love knitting because I can make things for others that come from the heart. 

It also gets me inspired as the seasons change, I can knit anywhere at any time. 

Someday I want to learn how do more in the textile/yarn arts arena...spinning yarn, dyeing, weaving, and other things related yarn.;

I have been getting more excited about cooking recently.  Usually I don't like to cook because it is only myself that I cook for, and I don't want to spend the time to cook just for myself then do the dishes afterwards, but recently I have been WANTING to cook for myself. I have been getting a comfortable feeling when I do.  I think that I am getting tired of microwaving my meals or ordering from Door Dash.

The scent of food cooking in my home that has been making me happy. So does baking.  I get a sense of nostalgia when I cook the meals that I used to eat when I was growing up and with my family. 

I have also been getting more into my Auxiliary commitments lately too.  Since the slow opening of the state and country, it is nice to be able to be around that side of my family.  I missed them so much. I can't wait until things get put into a sense of stability.

Last week, I took care of the problem at my job. While things got a little better, I don't think that anyone quite figured out what I did or why I did it. I'm not surprised by this. It's hard for their minds to understand that people shouldn't be treated as I had been treated. They didn't get it that the manager/owner did his job because my supervisor wouldn't do hers.

I had to set things right because my work anniversary has come, and I don't want to work in an environment that will make me uncomfortable since I am hoping to retire from that job. I also have rights as an employee.

I am looking forward to the fall.  It is my favorite time of the year.  The changing colors always soothe my heart. It is also a great time because the best holidays coming up...Halloween, Thanksgiving, Labor Day...my favorite holidays!! It is also time for the kiddos to go back to school (for what it is right now).

I hope that I can move before the fall comes so that I can get settled in and decorate. I plan to make my next place my permanent home...at least until I may have to move back to my hometown to be close enough to my family so that I can take care of them.

I have two brothers and two sisters, but one of my brothers has Multiple Sclerosis, and I plan to be there to help take care of him when the family elders pass away. He can take care of himself and things on his own, but someday he won't be able to, so I want to be near when that happens.

This is why I want to get my future savings plan set, and have job security. I want to take care of my family members and be able to live the rest of my life comfortably. I want to make sure that I stay healthy for them too.

With my anniversary at work, starting my 401k at work and putting money into my savings account, it is time for me to get my medical and dental situation going.

It looks like things are starting to get better, now I just have to keep going on this path.

Blessed be!

Circle Sanctuary And Short Term Goals

 As soon as I get settled once again, I want to become a member of and visit Circle Sanctuary Nature Preserve in southwestern Wisconsin once it is safe again to go out into the world and explore its wonders.

Circle Sanctuary is a nature preserve that was founded by the amazing Reverend Selena Fox, who has done so many great things for the Pagan/Wiccan community. 

In creating this sacred space to revel in, she gives us an opportunity to enjoy Mother Nature in all her glory.

One of my many dreams in life is to meet this amazing soul and thank her for lobbying for the Pentacle to be allowed as a religious symbol on the graves of our brave soldiers-pagan warriors-who died in the line of duty.

Even though my father isn't a Pagan, he is a veteran, and I love and respect everyone who has served in the armed forces. So what Selena did deserves my respect as a veteran's daughter AND a Wiccan.

My one year anniversary at my job is coming up this week, and with that I will get a paid vacation.  I am going to save my money and use my vacation time to try to go during a festival or holiday when this pandemic is over, even if it takes me several years to save for this, I will go. This is like my own version of Disney World.

You can't help but admire a woman who has stuck by her convictions, stood her ground and kept a piece of Mother Earth pure and magickal. It has stayed that way in her hands for forty six years, and will remain that way long after she is gone because others will continue on with her legacy.

I would love to live on land that is far from others where only the animals, trees and streams are the only other occupants...where the lights are not artificial, and the Goddess walks freely, giving inspiration to those who look with their hearts and not their minds.

I will go there some day, but until then I will persevere through the things that I must so that I am free when I am able to go...I just ask the Goddess to keep Selena with us until that time.

I am having some problems recently with someone I am working with, but I will be making sure that I can protect myself from that person...and I will do something that nobody has done to this person before.  What I am planning to do will not be bad, nor will it harm them or my karma.  When I do what I MUST to feel comfortable and safe at my job, I will do so in a positive and loving way.

This psyvamp must learn that what they are doing isn't only draining for me and for others, but illegal. It is time that they learn that what they are doing is harassing and inappropriate in the workplace.

Once that issue is dealt with, I think that I will be able to feel free from the oppressive demon that seems to leach on my life. It will be one more step closer to getting what I need to get done in the future. 

By next month, if I do things according to plan, I will have a new home-September or October should be the second step in the changes that I need to make in order to be where I need to on my path. 

I am hoping to find a place nearby that is easy walking access to the places I need to go and quiet enough that I don't have to worry about the neighbors getting nosy and the landlord is nearby so that I know that if things need repairing, I won't have to wait for a long time to live with the problems...and I need a landlord that isn't shady.  I am hoping to find that soon.

While I am doing this, I am doing a bit of purging and packing.  I don't want to drag things that have darkness attached to them, and since I am only a pack rat when it comes to paperwork, it is mostly that.  

As for the financial side,I have purged a lot of the bills-paid them in full-so that I am not left with any financial burdens from the past. I do need to pay down my credit card again, but that won't be too hard here soon. 

I can't wait to get these things all done so that life will get a little smoother before the end of the year.. With the next phases of my goals being set into motion, I feel the weights of negative energies leaving mu shoulders.

Have a great night!

Blessed be!

Raven

200 Posts And Counting!!

This is my 200th post!   I am celebrating!!  YAY!!

I began this blog  on October 9, 2007...thirteen years ago.  Time does fly!

Two hundred posts of varying themes, thoughts, ideas, changes, music, reading, life, hardships and living in general.

I may have to do an anniversary post in October just to celebrate the first post...maybe not.

Since the poet in myself has awakened, I am hoping that this opens the door to more blogging and sharing better things with the world in general.  

I am glad that I began here, and that everyone who has read or been reading this blog will continue to do so. 

I hope that my future posts will be filled with magick, love, positive energies and good things.  I hope that I can look back on my posts from a good place in the future.

The learning experience I take from reading all of my posts from the past is this:  Everything passes, good and bad, and we get through it all!

So, to The Blue Rose Journal:

200 Posts and Counting!!  Let's celebrate!

Blessed be,

Raven

The Awakening of the Raven

After a long wait, and a lot of road blocks on my poetic journey, the Raven has finally come back out to write poetry.

There is a great hope that Dreams of the Blue Rose will once again become active now that the floodgates are opened.

It was so wonderful to be able to see the poet come back out of hiding after so long.  I had almost forgotten that she was there since she seemed to have fallen asleep for so long.

I think it may have been hard for me to see the magickal and wondrous side of the world when I deal with so much negativity recently.  I had forgotten what it is like to sit back, listening to Pagan and Wiccan music while searching the faery realm for that which cannot be seen here. 

Eventually Pegasus will return as well, it is only natural because both are parts of me that have always been there.  The Raven will remind her that it is time to stop sleeping and begin the dance once again. I cannot wait for that day.

With this reawakening, it will be hard to hide this from those around me, and I don't think that I will have a wish or desire to hide it.  I work around pessimists and ignorance so this will be a different for all of them once things start going the way they should.

I am so excited to see and feel the poet in me coming out to play once again.  I have missed this part of myself.  I cannot wait to see what will happen next for us.  

As this happens, other things begin to wake up inside of me, it is refreshing to feel the past collide with a new future, and I am so happy that it is beginning again, with a few differences and a lot of changes that I know the Raven thinks are necessary!

Blessed be

Raven 

General Chitchat

I am so bored these days.  I have cleaned and prepared everything to the point that there isn't much else for me to do.  I have finished many of my knitting projects, and am searching for something new to make...of course, that will be a perfect opportunity to go yarn shopping.

This summer has shown me something very sad...either I need to start exercising more or I need to just acknowledge that I am gaining weight and NEED to buy new clothes...sad, sad, sad.  I should buy new clothes anyway, most of my clothes are close to 8 or 9 years old and growing raggedy by the year. 

Gaining weight isn't that big of a scare for me because I was always below 110 lbs until I hit 45.  I couldn't gain weight no matter how hard I tried to.  I always looked like I was skin and bones. The cold weather would just blow right through me when the weather went below 65 degrees. I hated the cold because of that.  Now, I am getting some meat on my bones and I feel very good about sometimes..or until I have to take a deep breath, lay down on the bed just to zip up my ants (giggles at this).

I know that many will not sympathize with me, and that isn't my objective.  I just think that maybe I should just get some exercise so that I don't accidentally create physical problems for myself in the future. I think that size doesn't matter when you are healthy...and the doctors think it as well.

I am reading more and more these days because I want to grow in my path.  I also want to make sure that I become more stable in my convictions. So far, practicing has been a little hard because of my job and the heat that slowly saps my energy once I am home.  It will take some discipline and time, but I will get myself on track here.

So far, finances still look very good, and the big boss has been very kind in letting me get more hours in different departments.  I had to remind him the other day that I know how to do almost everything in that company once I am shown how their equipment and procedures work.  One of the reasons why I was not laid off in the beginning of this pandemic was because of what I CAN do now, but I have been showing the big bosses that I KNOW and CAN do a lot more than they realize. I like being useful at work, it gives me a sense of personal pride.

By the end of August, I will have my one year anniversary and I plan to begin the company 401(k) and begin planning for vacation time.  I want to use my vacation in conjunction with getting thing done, like going to the dentist.

I am hoping that by the time I can get vacation time, I can use my dental to fix the things wrong with my teeth...then again, I want to make sure that when that time comes, the world will be seeing the backside of this pandemic.

I still haven't found a place to live, but I do have one or two prospects that are within the budget I set for myself, and I am hoping that I can get to at least one of them before this month is out.  I am getting a little antsy about it because I want to move and be settled before September so that I can get comfortable before winter hits. 

As for everything else in my life, it's all good.  I just keep throwing the bad out of my mind and think on the positive side.  Karma is working for me recently.

-Raven

Finding What Was Lost, Looking For What Was

Over the course of the last few weeks I have been cleaning and preparing to leave the place that I am living.  I think that I have almost completely purged my life of the rubbish and bad vibes that have hovered over me and my life.  

In the purging, cleaning, and general re-organization of my home, I have found my Wiccan books. I think that was what I was looking for because I began to re-read them and to finally start to discover a lot about myself.

In finding those books, re-reading them, and practicing a bit, I am finding that I am starting to become stronger in my own resolve in many aspects of my life and my job.

I have been receiving so much negativity recently that I have been near tears trying to figure out what was truly wrong.  

I started wearing my protection jewelry as well.  I am trying to prevent these people from causing me to doubt myself.  

I think that I have also learned how to call them fools in Japanese and Korean...I have been showing my intelligence level a lot over the last week or so in a passive aggressive attempt to keep the trash from entering my personal space.  By the amount of negative energy that keeps trying to fly my way, I would say it is working.

 I haven't found a new place to live, but it will happen when the time is right. In the meantime, I am doing what I can to prepare financially and physically.

Finances still look very good, and more to come.  I am able to do what I need to do while I save for what I want to do.

While the world is slowly getting back online, I am working to get to where I need to be, and with patience and diligence, I think I will do very well.

There are some things that I feel like I am missing recently.  I keep having visions in my head of things that seem to be of the past, and I dream of people whom I have never met in this life.  

There is one in mt dreams that I have always dreamed of, and the source of my poetry on Dreams Of The Blue Rose.  I think I miss him the most, and I believe that I have either missed him this time, or I will meet him  eventually.  

I have also been missing people from this life...my stepsister, grandfather, grandmother, and my step grandparents.  I don't know why I am missing them right now, but I feel sad instead of happy when I think of them.

It may be because my grandfather's birthday is in three days. I have been hearing his laughter quite a lot recently.  

Don't get me wrong, I am glad that they aren't living right now during this trying time, and that they are not in any danger of the pandemic, but I still wish they could be here for just a little while so that I can reassure myself that life is good.

/Some of this is probably because of the changes that I am making in my life.  It may be a counteract to the negativity that I have been dealing with outside of my home or it could be that I am hearing the calling that I should be hearing.  

My spirit has finally stopped longing for things, so maybe I want to re-visit the past so that I can say goodbye and move on to the next level of life.

No matter how I look at things, I need to realign myself and continue on with the good things that I have been doing.  I need to go forward in this next incarnation of my life.

-Raven

Thoughts, Plans, Wavering and Other Assorted Odds and Ends

I cannot believe that June is one day away, and summer is on our doorstep. What a weird six months this has been for everyone already.  

I am ready for some beautiful weather and finally getting to be around people again.  Even if we need to do so cautiously, it will be nice to resume life again. 

I think that it is safe to say that all of us are thinking the same thing. We all just want to get back to what we were doing before, even with precautions in place.

As for me, things will get better at work because I won't have to do as much as I did before unless I volunteer to do so. It may mean that I will have to work on Saturdays again, but that is ok.  I am still working, and that is what is important.

I am still looking for a good place to live, and hope to move very soon. I'll be working on packing as I look and finish purging my things so that I don't have to take unnecessary things into my new home.

I finally finished working on my Outlander blog, with plans to do other things with it, I finally decided that I should just go for it and get it updated while the last season aired.  I will probably start doing the re-reading on the novel in the next day or so.

Since I now have my health and dental insurance, I will be able to do some things that I wasn't able to do.  When the pandemic is over, and the last of my financial issues are resolved, I will do them.  I can't wait!  I feel like an average person with these benefits right now.

In the middle of August, I will be able to add two more benefits to my life: vacation and 401k.  I am looking forward to both of these because I haven't had either in many years.  I am trying to get my future in order.  I am also hoping that once I get everything done with moving and with playing catch-up on everything, I hope to open an IRA at my bank. 

I think that as I am getting older, there are things that I want to make sure are in place for my life so that I feel more comfortable.  I had already decided when I turned fifty that I was going to make sure that my future was going to be better than it has been. I want to take vacations, have a retirement plan, have the insurances that I need to take care of myself.

Once that IRA and everything in that direction is settled, I will work on the simple things that I have neglected in the past...driver's license and a car. 

I did open a secured credit card last October as a safety measure for the future. It works like a normal credit card, but I had to put down a certain amount as a deposit, which is also the limit.  Since I got the card, I have used it a bit, but because I am looking ahead, I have tried to ignore the due date, and pay off increments or replace what I used on paydays...sometimes, even making two or three payments a month and making the monthly payments on time (this month, I will be late on my payment by a few days, but the bank said that because I made payment amounts that equal out to the minimum throughout the month, I won't pay a penalty or late fees). I have been doing really well with this card, and it comes through my bank.  

At this point, I have finally settled down financially, with the credit card, I even opened a checking account...this goes hand in hand with my savings account and a debit account that I have (this account is the main one that money flows into, and I turn around and transfer to savings and checking-the checking is for writing checks for bills, the savings is for the future, and the debit account is the budget that I am allowed to spend during the week, plus the bills that are paid online). These accounts are necessary to keep me on track for what I need to do, and what I want to do in the future.

It will all work out, I just need to make sure that I stick with my plans.

Recently, I have been wavering on my religious outlook.  It seems that I am going towards the past there as well.  It seems that I am being called back, but I am not sure yet what that means.  It may be because I had spent a year with this universal religion for a year before becoming part of its family fifteen years ago, and right before I started studying another spiritual path...I wavered on both for years then too, but something keeps trying to bring me back to the first. 

I may mention it again in the future, but for now I need to spend time thinking about what I am being called for and what I need to do with it.

I have been knitting a lot more recently.  It is an easy thing to do while watching television or listening to an audio book.  I want to do something with it.  I love the feel of yarn in my hands and the needles producing something so awesome.  I have a few projects that I am working on now that are easy to do, but I am longing to learn more stitches so that I can make more elaborate and beautiful things.

I may have mentioned this before, but I want to learn how to spin wool into yarn, and to dye yarn so that I can make projects practically from scratch.  It would be so cool to be able to say that I made that from spinning the wool into yarn to dying the yarn and then to knitting the project. Someday I may try my hand at learning how to create my own patterns...not sure that would ever happen, but it's always a possibility.  I love the yarn arts, and may get the gumption to try my hand at crocheting again in the future.  

During this time, I have also been devouring cookbooks and been obsessed with baking.  I am trying to find new recipes for the time that we are able to gather together again.  I am also going online and going gaga over pots, pans, bakeware, and other kitchen appliances.  I want to be able to contribute dishes for functions. Part of me is just plain tired of microwaving dinner or ordering Door Dash. I am also tired of eating meals out of a can or eating a sandwich. 

There is so much on my mind, and so much I want to do with my life for the rest of this year, I can only forge ahead, figure things out, plan, and make short term goals to get me through this time. Once things are figured out, learned, then set into motion, I think that I will be in a good place to set up my future after fifty. 

I want my life to be comfortable going into the next decade, and I want to start getting settled into how I want it to be.  I call it my dream life or living comfortably in the future.

Please continue to be safe!

Writing Again, Last Rites of Negative Posting and Looking Forward to the Future

I have been thinking a lot this weekend, and how I am tired of doing life the way that I have been.

Even though I am in the process of finding a new place to live, there are things that I want to do now.

I want to write and I want to empower myself or protect myself from those who are now trying to pull me down.

Writing has been calling me a lot lately, and I really do want to get back to it.  

I am also in the process of finding some good spells and empowerment exercises to do so that when I am at work, it doesn't affect me when I come home to write and live a quiet life without negativity following me in. I am hoping to find a way so that I can move into a new home without worrying about it all following me where ever I go.

It's been funny lately.  I have been able to say what needs to be said, and when I do it comes out strong, and I feel stronger about myself.

There's something in me that wants to show those Mayberry Ignorant Fools who I really am most days.  Though, throwing out my lexicon to that crew would only be a waste of my time.  Instead I will just do what I have to do and show the ones who sign my paycheck my worth since the ones who do this are only on the lower rungs of the workplace food chain.

So, after talking about that, I don't want to ever mention work or anything negative again.  I have too many good things to focus on. I will protect myself every day and wear my self pride on my shoulders as I always have, and always plan to. I will ignore the stares and backbiting of those who will be forgotten once I walk out of work every day.

Now on to other more positive things...

I already have a few poems and a story in my head that I cannot wait to flesh out and share with the world.   I want to get Dreams of the Blue Rose active once again. It will be so much fun to get back to writing again!!  I can't wait to get to it once again.

My financial situation is looking comfortable, and I will continue to make it so that I won't worry about finances as the years go by.  

Since I have been kissed by the Goddess with luck, I have been able to keep my job through this tough time, and have been able to get some things paid off or paid down so that I won't worry when I find somewhere else to live.  I may even be able to drive once again and not rely on the bus for anything,and I can walk once again for the thrill of it.

In this time of change, I know that I am using this time wisely to walk the path that I am supposed to and not see it as a bad thing, but a valuable lesson.  I know that this world is full of uncertainty and people are crazy, so I will continue to be positive and not let others affect my outlook through this.  

Knitting has actually become a happy distraction for me as well.  I haven't done much in starting new projects, but I am working on the ones that I started, and am looking at what else I can make that I can knit my own energies and love into.

I am so excited about the next stage of my life and everything that I want to accomplish!!  I hope everyone else has that same feeling, and that what is happening worldwide will change the hearts of even the most negative people in the world.

Blessed be!
Raven

I'm Back

I haven't written in a long time, mainly because life is what it is.  I kept my old job, and thankfully, it is a company that is essential, and by tomorrow afternoon, I will be one of only six people left working until this is all over with. While I am glad that I am still working, I know that management is holding on to me and the other five as long as they can.

Right now, the entire world has time to stop and regroup...to reflect and find a new direction in life.  I wonder how many people will end up following a new path.

Over the course of the last months, I have not been able to do much with changing myself or how I practice my path. Mainly because I am lazy sometimes.  I say that I will do it, but I end  up just sitting around watching Kdramas and dreading the next day when I will have to go to work and deal with people who seem nearly bipolar in the way they treat me. 

As soon as this is over with, I will be moving.  I have to find a new apartment, and this time, I am going to look for something that fits me and my needs.  I need a sanctuary away from the world that I feel comfortable in, and that isn't the place that I am living now.

I have been able to read more too, I am glad that I am because I am enriching my mind and keeping it active at the same time. I am also slowly working with what I am learning so that I can become stronger.

I have been learning to empower myself at work over the last few months too.  I don't know what is really happening, but I have been defending myself more and more with everyone, including my supervisor and her assistant.  I have also learned to say no to people too.  I am growing more with each passing month.

There has been one area that has been concerning me about myself...

For twenty one years, I have been a huge fan of Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series, and have been watching the show on Starz since it began, however I have not kept up with this season and have no real desire to for the moment.  I don't understand why I am not excited about the show or about the cast like I used to be.  I don't even blog about that very often and am behind on my Outlander blog.

I have been re-reading the books whenever I am not reading about Wicca, watching K-dramas or knitting.  I haven't even kept up with the author on her blog.

I have also lost a lot of interest in Facebook.  I am never there like I used to be. I am wondering why this has happened. It is very weird for me to not be totally into Outlander like I used to be.  I may be growing in a way that I had never expected to grow I guess.

Maybe things will change sooner or later, but right now, I am working on myself and where I need to go next in this life so that my journey is a good one and I am content with who I am and what I do in life!

Everyone stay healthy and safe!
Raven

I Am Fifty Today! Happy Birthday To Me

I have been looking forward to this birthday since I turned 25.

I am ready for the next half of my life!

I hope for peace, patience and wisdom in this half of my century!

HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY TO ME!!