Happy New Year/Been Sick Again

I have not been able to get on lately, because I have been battling it out with a nasty sinus infection since last Saturday...I am better now, but it is slow going in getting better.

Well, 2007 is almost over, and I will be honest and say that I am very happy to see it go. I did not have a great time of it this year, so I am looking forward to 2008. I have plans to make my life better in the coming year.

I will begin with my relationship with the Father, as usual...lol Yes, I am going to continue to work with Him to bring myself back to where I need to be to fulfill that particular dream.

Next is finding that job, as I have mentioned in previous posts...after the First of the Year, I will begin to look for a new job. I have not set a date to have this new job by because I know it takes time...it will be a job that offers benefits and an opportunity for good hours and time off for the things I want to do with my life.

Next is taking care of me....I have neglected to do even the basics of a routine for the past year or so, and my skin is showing it....flaky, and black heads-yes, this can be the weather, but it is also because I haven't been working to take care of my skin like I once did...and I did that religiously for years-it's time to go back to caring about me.

On this agenda is another goal, to get out of my mother's home...everyone knows this one, however, I have decided not to rush this one, and wait to set a date because I want to find a good job first.

Then there is the obvious...financial stability. I want to be able to have all of my debts paid off as soon as I can...I am already seeing the debts going down, and there is a ray of sunshine on that front, so that won't take too long.

Also on this list is GETTING ORGANIZED!!! I need to organize and balance out my time better so that I can get everything done. I will go in a while to get filler paper for my original organizer, and start using it and planning the things out that need to be planned.

I have also said this, and I will again...I want to write, and I want to start doing something for that soon. I have an idea or two still in my head, and I want to start working on that as well.

Now, on to recent news...

First of all, my brother is going to be a father, and last week they found out that his girlfriend is having twins...I am thinking that they will be fraternal twins because identical twins come from the father's side usually, and there isn't a history of twins of any kind in our family. It looks like my life just got a little more interesting-now I won't just have my favorite little guy to call me aunt anymore, but a grand total of three who will call me that (I hope one of them is a girl...lol).

Next, Christmas was alright. My dad surprised me by buying me a suede coat for Christmas. WOW!!!! I had fun with my family, and we met my sister's boyfriend, and he seems very nice and intelligent...that is good because he will be in my nephew's life for a while, I am guessing. Grandma and Aunt were their usual selves and bought me clothes when I specifically told them not to because my weight has fluctuated for the past 8 months and I don't like getting clothes for Christmas. Other than that, everything went well, and I enjoyed being with family even if I was ill the entire time.

I have had this nasty sinus infection since last Saturday, and have been miserable. I finally went to the doctor and he gave me antibiotics and a cough suppressant for this....I am feeling better, and I rested while I went back and forth between Diana Gabaldon's Voyager, and Sara Douglass' WAYFARER REDEMPTION over the past few days. I was supposed to stay off work for the time being, as the doctor prescribed...but I couldn't and the doctor and I compromised-I didn't work at my second job because I had to be around people as a waitress...and with my first job I am back in the corner by myself-even the pregnant woman wouldn't be affected by my illness.

Now, I have another three day weekend that I am going to enjoy!! I am going to rest some more, take in liquids as the doctor prescribed and read until New Year's Eve.

I found this, and it is one of my favorite Catholic symbols....



~Karol

Do You Remember This Christmas Song?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jEnTSQStGE

I remember hearing this for the first time at Christmas around 1986...I was sixteen years old. It made me cry, and I believe that this was the first time that the window opened for me.

You see, we all have a window that we can open and shut on the world when it gets to be too much. Some people shut that window the minute bad things happen and don't think about it...that isn't so for me-whether it's the War now, or the elections, children being murdered in our own country or starving across an ocean, I usually watch and watch until I have made myself sick with it...I care to much and I cannot shut that particular window.

Maybe Father never intended for me to shut that window, and when it was first opened that year, I actually participated in the events of the time, and listened to the other song that came out that year....maybe I am supposed to do something out there, but I have yet to figure it out yet.

So, here I sit, thinking about St. Theresa of Calcutta, better known as Mother Theresa of Calcutta, and what she had once said about helping others: "You just start with one...", and so maybe if I begin with one thing, and one person, then move on to the next, maybe someday I will figure out what it is that I am supposed to do with myself in this world, and where I will be most needed.

Patience....

Yesterday at Mass, I recieved a message that I needed to hear....

As the Liturgy of the Word came to a close....it was the one where John the Baptist sends his disciples to ask Jesus if He is the One, and Jesus answers in a way that gives the imprisoned John the hope he needs for patience.

Our homily was given by one of the wonderful Fransican priests who give so much love and such wonderful messages just by being themselves and loving Father and Christ...trying to live as the examples set by St. Frances....

I digressed, but in the homily, our dearest Fransican spoke of patience and how it's hard to do so in the world of instant gratification-fast food, prompt service every where we go. Sometimes patience is hard with these things right where we need them to be.

His words make sense to me...be patient, things will happen as they should, and you will recieve what you need from Father. With all of the holiday comings and goings, I am going to try just that...patience. I will wait to work on some of my mission statement-the job and new home part for now because everything else needs to be taken care of first...on is my relationship with Father-I need to repair this one, and remember how to pray to Him, something I got out of the habit of doing and now I am having a bit of trouble reaching out to ask Him for anything....unless it's for others.

It's been cold here, snow and rain, slush and temperatures in the teens today and this weekend...it's alright because I think of all of the people in the world who had to deal with ice storms and huge blizzard conditions this past week and weekend, and I am thankful that we got the least of the bad weather here. I was just thankful that I could go to Mass yesterday to hear the message I needed to hear-I looked outside thinking that it would be absolutely horrible outside, buta when I saw that it wasn't bad, only cold, I thought to myself "if Jesus can go out into a dry, hot desert for 40 days, you can take that ten minute drive to St. Andrew's Parish in Milford, Ohio, and attend an hour long Mass." So I went, and I was greatly rewarded.

The countdown to Christmas is on, and I have three people to buy for and haven't even begun to shop!! I am not lazy, just been broke and the weather has been bad recently...but I am going to go today, or tomorrow....either way, I am going soon. lol

I finished re-posting all of my poetry on my other blog here. I am ready to begin the next chapter of my poetic self. It may not begin for a little while, but I know that I will be going to that blog first to post....now I will just enjoy the Christmas season and write as it comes.

I Have Forgotten Something Important...

In my way, I have forgotten something important:





I am not trying to confuse anyone. I am definitely trying not to confuse myself.

However, I do feel that the female voice that has been calling my name isn't a goddess, but perhaps the Queen of Heaven...the Holy Mother, The Virgin Mary calling out to me to listen to her son.

This explains why I have been going back and praying the Rosary-the Marian and the Divine Mercy-over the past two or three days. I needed to hear Her, and not whatever it was that my mind tried to make it out to be. So, I think I will just continue to go to Mass, and to read any and everything spiritual that I can.

I think my problem is that I am looking at this from a spirituality perspective more than from any other way. It's not about my salvation or anything like that, but a need to connect with Someone higher....not some un-named goddess or god, but with the one I called Father on more than many occasions.

Continue to pray for me in this one, I am slowly working my way through. I am also celebrating the Advent so that with the Coming of Our Salvation, I think I will be able to reconnect with that which I have always know to be in my heart....

My mission statement is inside my heart and my head for the moment, and I will get it out here soon. I just want to make sure that I have everything...from spirituality to health to financial. I am going to write it out this evening-can't tomorrow night because I will be going to hand out Christmas gifts to the Veterans in the VA Hospital in Georgetown, Ohio....

The Veteran's Hospital is such a nice facility, but it is also sad to see our Veterans left there. I think that this will be good for my heart to go and be with them, to say yet again, THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE....just by giving a gift and a smile to warm their evening. THAT is the way I become like Jesus, I guess. It's just something that makes my heart feel warm inside...to know that I have given love to those who are far better than I could have ever been....especially those vets from Nam and Korea and WWII.

Before I take the Eucharist, I usually say this:
"Father, make me clean and worthy to take in the Body and Blood of your Son, Jesus Christ, so that I may become like Him in the world."

After Eucharist, I say this:
"Father thank you for making my worthy to receive Your Son, now show me, guide me, and help me become like Jesus Christ in the world."

And every time I leave after Mass, I say these words:
"Help me go and spread Your Love."

I guess that Father does work in the greatest of ways, because He finds ways for me to do the very thing that my heart usually desires.....now why did I EVER FORGET THAT!!!!



Amen, amen, I say to You...Thank you for not forsaking me....but forgive me for forsaking You