Change...Again!

The new job didn't work out, so I went back to an old job for now. It just didn't work out with the one, so I went to talk to my former boss and I was working the next day.

To  be honest, while I liked the job, and the people, I wasn't really what was needed there.

It's ok, at my old job I have time now to go find something better and I won't have to miss money or a paycheck. I have to go back to working Saturdays, but it's what I have to do to keep going. I won't be getting the hours I need, but I will be working. I start back tomorrow.

This also gives me the chance to do the things I love doing...writing and knitting. 

I know I have a lot of dreams here and I should dial some of them back, but I want that life of happiness while I still have time on this earth.

I have been re-reading J.R. Ward's BDB novels and getting up.  It seems that I am only about two or three books behind, but I will catch up with everyone soon.

I should go back and re-read Jane Austen and Diana Gabaldon, I am in the mood to get myself back on the old track.

I should update my Outlander blog or at least, re-vamp it at least. I may get to everything by the end of July or the summer.

With the new/old job I will be able to listen to audio books while working like I can while knitting.  That should be fun. 

Last week, I mentioned a plan that I wanted to implement...this is a two year plan/goal that I want to establish that means that by the time I am fifty, I am settled into what I feel my life should be, and be content with how I want things to be. I want to be content and happy.

I worked in a company recently where almost all of the older employees were always unhappy.  I watched them gripe and complain about almost everything, and I knew that I didn't want that to be me.  I wanted to be positive and eliminate the negative energies that these bitter women produced...and in order for me to do that, I must work hard to make sure that doesn't happen to me too.

In the second half of this year and through next year, I am going to concentrate on fulfilling the goals I am setting out for myself and in time, I hope to achieve these goals if I stick to my plan.

As much as I like the guy and company I am going to work for tomorrow, I know that I won't be able to stay there because it is not financially viable.  Right now, it is a temporary help until I can do what I need to do to survive the coming months until I can find a permanent place where I do make decent money and do what I need to do to live and save money.

Coming Back To Me, Living The Dream

It's been so long since I have been back here!  I am sorry.

 Life over the last months has been a real lesson in learning to control myself and not become a total pain in the arse.

I have had a job that I was not happy in due to the environment and attitudes around me and living in a place where living under the charity of an organization cost more than my self esteem.

However, in the middle of May, I was able to get approved for a new apartment, and impressed a new company enough that they hired me and pay me more money than my other job with the possibility of raises and weekends off.

I moved into my new home on the 2nd of June, and I only have a bed with a couch coming this week, and the kitchen is very small, but the place is nice, and comfortable with a big balcony that, with time, I can fix up so that I can sit outdoors and enjoy life. 

The new apartment is in the town I lived in for six years, but in a different location.  Despite the business of the area, it is quiet in the building and doesn't have gas heat.  I hope this reflects on my electric bill and makes life easier.

I am still on the bus line, so that works out well, and I don't have to walk to the grocery store if I don't want to. I can also go anywhere any time I want or need to. That's a huge plus.  I may walk anyway just to get a litte exercise.

In time, I will get a tv and other things I need, but I have my laptop and internet service so I can watch movies and get the news. Since I knit and listen to the radio on my phone, I am good to go.

I began my new job on the 4rth of June, and so far the first two weeks  have been very good.  People are kind and willing to help me when I have questions.  They keep to themselves mostly, but are willing to say hello and smile at you when you come in. 

I like my new job, and I am going to do my best to make sure this is my last job ever.

I love my life so far now.

For a long time, I would ask myself what I would consider my dream life, what I wanted my life to be like on a daily basis and what I saw of myself being and doing by the time I was fifty. I didn't like how things were going in my life, and I would try to imagine what would make me happy and content

My first thought was that I wanted a basic life.

For me, a basic life is to have a decent job where I could work Monday through Friday and make enough money to support myself, have a decent home for myself and my Emma, and have routines that made me feel good about myself.

Well, I have accomplished the job and home, so now I am at the next stages of that dream life:    
I will continue to get settled into my new home and work on the routines.

I am working on them as we speak. I am hoping that every week, I am hoping that I will have been able to accomplish the first parts of my two year goals by the end of 2018 so that I can work on the rest of my plans.

I will be able to get completely settled in very soon.

You see, by the time I am fifty, I want to be driving again, and have money set aside for my future.

Right now, I have re-started my Clinique routine, have been taking vitamins every day, knitting a lot, and kept up with household chores.

I want to start cooking more and doing crafts and hobbies that give me peace. I want to clean and run errands on Saturdays morning, enjoy a quiet Friday and Saturday night kicked back with a glass of wine, and relax and do very little on Sundays to prepare for the week ahead.

I want to get back into blogging on a regular basis and doing some of the things I used to do.

I miss my Outlander community, social media community, and being on all my sites. I know many have moved forward, so I will be catching up with everyone and everything over the next month.

Part of my plans will contain an organizer and writing things down along with going back to the old fashioned way of keeping my life up to date.

I will also be journalling the old fashioned way. Since I am doing part of my goals now, writing down what I am re-learning and re-starting will be beneficial.

I am going back to Wicca. I strayed because of others and fears, but over the last few months, I have felt drawn back home to the Goddess since She has been the one who has actually made me feel more at peace.

I want to write about my journey and find new places to be me.

We are coming up on Midsummer, and now that I can set up my alter, and celebrate without fear of intrusion or being bothered this should be easier for me to do.

I also want to learn how to spin and dye yarn, weave, and improve my knitting skills.

This is what my my dream life will be. Simple, witchy, crafty, and content.

Every month, I am going to start adding new things to my world that will help me become more content. I want a fuller, richer and healthier life.

When I say richer, I don't mean financially, though that will help, I mean spiritually and mentally.

I am having some trouble right now remembering that this is MY home and that I don't have to answer to anyone other than myself on how I live my life in my own home.  That will change over time.

I am also having a bit of difficulty remembering that the management at my new job are not going to jump on me over every little thing, and that they will not yell at me from across the room like I am a common dog. I am getting used to the fact that everyone does their job and doesn't worry about what others are doing or not doing....instead, they will finish their work then go help where they are needed, no arguing, grumbling or snottiness involved.  They are a real team, and it is nice to work in this environment. It's very laid back in a fast paced sort of way.

With all of my current plans, and new life, I am starting to feel free again.  I am starting to feel like my future will be a good one that will be built on a new foundation.

I am also going to start ignoring those around me who have a tendency to judge everything I do and say, and think that I should be like them or something similar.

I have been slowly cutting certain things off that have taken up too much of my time.  I am going to start putting my foot down concerning things that others EXPECT me to do, and do the things I EXPECT of myself.  While I do love our veterans and the American Legion Auxiliary, I don't want to devote all my time to them and noting for me.

In the last two years, I disappointed a lot of people because I couldn't do what they wanted or thought I should do because I couldn't because of finances, living situation, and transportation.

While I can do many things now, I can't because I am starting my new life and am getting things settled and situated. It's my time to do and be who I am, and make me happy.  If this means blowing off the ALA for a little while, then they need to deal with it until or unless I have time and the inclination to step back into it all on a regular basis.

I am no longer going to allow anyone to censure me, especially in my lifestyle, and I am taking my girlfriend with me if she wants to go.

I am so happy that my life has been given back to me, no thanks to those who would gainsay me.


From here on out, you will see and read about a new person and her journey.  I hope this next chapter is a very good read.

Have a great Sunday!

~Blessed Be