03 August 2021

I'm Back

I have not been able to be here recently. In June, I had major surgery because I have bladder cancer.

 My bladder was removed, but there is still some left in two lymph nodes. After all that, I have been getting chemotherapy and doing radiation. Not fun, but it will save my life in the end.

So far, I have had two treatments of chemotherapy and a week and a half of a three week radiation session. I have to do the radiation twice a day for about fifteen minutes at a time. 

So far, my hair has thinned out a great deal from the chemotherapy, but it is still trying to hang in there. I am waiting for it to completely fall out.  I wear a hat right now, and have a wig for when the time comes. In a way, this is kind of funny, but still, my hair will grow back and I will be normal again in the future.

When I first found out that I had the cancer in January, I was afraid at first, but right now, none of this is scary to me.  My mom says that she's amazed that I am taking this in stride, but in reality, I am just doing what I have to do, and I have a great big god with me who knows how this will come out. He isn't ready for me yet, and I am not ready to be with Him yet. 

My family has been a huge help to me during this.  They are helping me take care of my doctors visits, treatments and financially.  I am blessed to have them with me. They are a great help, and I know that they are doing all of this with great love for me.

Since June, I haven't been able to work so money has been tight. It scares me since the hospital bills are piling up and I am not sure if I will ever be able to pay them.  I am hoping that I will be able to work when this is finally over.  I can't stay home and wait for a government check to pay for me. I like to feel like I am accomplishing things on my own and supporting myself.

I can't wait for this to be over with and I can get back to living my life as I am supposed to live it.  I know that this will be over with soon.

The last two years have been hard for me, and for everyone in the world.  

Blessed Be

Mists of Avalon

Two days in a row!  WOW!! I have been re-reading Mists of Avalon.   I know, last year I was supposed to be a part of a book discussion on it...