I Am So Lazy

I have been a bit quiet lately because I don't have any energy and I am really bored. Nothing ever happens when you are not working due to medical reasons.

It's been a year since my bladder was removed and everything is going well so far.  

Since I haven't been at work, days just jumble together for me and I forget what day it is.  Most days, I just sit in front of the tv watching a lot of nonsense and waiting for the sun to go down so that I can get to tomorrow.  

I haven't finished reading Diana Gabaldon's latest release, and it came out at the end of November.  I would usually have it read in a month or so.  I am a very bad Gabaldon fan.

I feel like I can't get the energy I need to be myself anymore.  I know that some of this may be slight depression, but that confuses me since I don't have anything to be depressed about.

I rarely watch the news or try to see what depressing things happen so that isn't why I am like this.

It may be a general sense of boredom with myself these days.

I can give myself the pep talk and try to give myself a sense of gusto, but that requires the energy that I am not feeling these days.

I wonder if my problems stem from inactivity and not eating more than one meal a day. 

I have this strong feeling of nostalgia recently.  For some reason, I want to go back to the way things were when I lived at home.  I want to spend more time with my family and have holidays again.

This year has been very odd for holidays in my family.  First with Dad and my stepmom getting sick, and my mother forgetting holidays, it's getting hard to get into the spirit of things anymore.

I don't even want to go out for a walk or sit in the park anymore, and that is very strange for me since I have to walk everywhere and I love the park.

I need to exercise so that I can go back to work and not get tired before I can get an actual break, but I don't want to go out and do it.

Even housework, a chore I hate but do anyway, is getting put off and the messes are getting out of control.

I will eventually figure this out, but it is driving me crazy.