I Am Going Back To Work, Getting On Track

I am happy to say that I am going back to work on Monday.

I enjoyed the year and a half off, but the financial side was barely do-able. I can't live on a fixed income for much longer.  The holidays are coming and I want to be able to contribute to them.

I am going back to my old company, and I have asked about positions in another department.  I am not sure I want to work in the one I did before.  I liked the people I worked with, but I would prefer to work in a situation where I am not doing a lot of different jobs because others aren't there to help with them.

Before going back to work, I am getting my house ready with a deep clean so that I don't have to worry about my home when I go back to work.  With the darker months ahead, I think this will be for the best as well since it can get to be a downer as well as a celebratory time of the years.

I have also begun to ready myself for Samhain.  I won't be celebrating much for it, but I am now cleansing my tools, and will be consecrating them this weekend as well as setting up my alter.  

It is time to start working again on my spiritual self and moving forward as a Wiccan Witch.  I have been lazy long enough.

Once I finish the house cleaning and preparing my alter, I am going to stop watching a lot of television and go back to reading Outlander and all of my Wiccan, Witchcraft, and other books throughout the winter. I think that this will be a better way to spend my time than watching television all night/

The routines that I set up for myself since July have been going well, I will be able to do them when I start working again...I will have to do them earlier, and after I get out of bed, but that is alright.  I don't mind.  I will have to add in a small ritual for protection, prosperity and abundance for work.

I can't believe that I have been out of work this long.  It make me wonder how I will be able to survive when I retire.  I have a feeling that I will be so bored that I might take on a part time job or volunteer work just so that I am not sitting at home day after day.

Right now, I am focusing on housework, Wicca and preparing for this coming Monday.  I am getting excited about what is coming up.  Life will feel better for me, and I am certain that I can will feel better in the long run.

I am hoping that when I do go back to work I can lose a few pounds.  I gained so much weight this year that I am frustrated with it.  It is the most that I have weighed in my entire life, and I am now about twenty five pounds over what I was when I went in for my surgery and then chemotherapy and radiation.  I don't like it at all.

I can't wait to can't wait to consecrate and set up my alter again.  I am excited about this because I have felt out of touch without it since I moved into my apartment fifteen or so months ago.  It also feels right because I haven't had an alter up in about two years, when I had to live with my dad and stepmother.  

I am also looking forward to not wearing my pajamas all day and missing most of the daylight or wasting the day watching television.  I will not be hesitant to put on regular clothes and looking like everyone else who goes out to work. 

Life is getting better and I hope that it continues to get better.  I hope that the cancer doesn't come back when I go to work and that I stay healthy.

Blessed be.

-Raven 

Happy 15th Anniversary!!!

As of today, this blog has been up for fifteen years!!  

I am surprised that I have been able to keep going, even if I have been doing so on and off for the last five or six years!!

Happy 15th Anniversary, Blue Rose Journal!!! 

Rest In Love, Loretta Lynn

Loretta Lynn has passed away. 

For me, she was a link to my grandma.

I will miss her very much.

Rest in love, Beautiful!

-Raven

It's Fall Again!

We are heading into the holiday  season.  First Halloween, then Thanksgiving, Christmas and the beginning of the new year.

I always look forward to this time of year, I love how we can spend time with family and friends while the world outside gets colder and the days get shorter.

Recently, I have been slacking on the things that I needed to do, so I have been working a bit on correcting the situation.  I usually like to get my home clean for the colder months so that I don't have to worry about much...and I do feel better when I have a clean home.

I have also resolved to finish reading Diana Gabaldon's latest book, Go Tell The Bees That I Am Gone.  I am half way finished so it should not be to long before I can blog about it on my Outlander blog.

I now have season 6 of Outlander that I will watch very soon.  I am planning on having an Outlander weekend soon.

I am also planning a Jane Austen re-read on all of her novels and watching the adaptations of the shows as well very soon.  I love Jane and I want to  go back into that world.

I am also preparing myself to go back to work.  I think that I will go back after the New Year.  If I do this, I want to make sure that my home and routines are set in stone and that I am prepared for it.  I will feel better going back when everything is set the way it should be and I have everything down pat before I rejoin the work force.

I am also working through this nostalgia phase of my life.  I don't know why, but I still feel like I want to go back in time where I was not living alone, had shows I loved to watch, read all the time, and worked in my hometown.  

Since the end of July, I have been using my planner almost every day, it has helped me with my routines because I actually write out my routines in the To-Do portion of the planner.  I still need to start getting up at a regular time and going to bed at a regular time, but I am going to start working on that sometime soon.  

I need to set up a rules list for my home and myself so that I can live better and keep the routines and the chores going every day.  I live a bit in chaos right now, and that will need to stop before I go back to work as well.

I am looking forward to the holidays this year.  I love them so much.  It is more about family and being happy than it is about the things we receive from it all.  I can't wait for it all.  

This Christmas, I am planning to decorate.  I didn't last year because I was recovering from the cancer and didn't have much energy to do much.  This year, I am feeling very good, and am ready for celebration.

I am also looking forward to baking and helping everyone with food for the holidays.  I never got to help them with the dinner and dishes before, and I am not sure why I didn't help.  I think some of the reason was because we never thought about it before.  I have some cool pans and things that I can use, and they hardly every get used because I haven't had the chance to use them before.  I want to be a part of that, and do some cool stuff for everyone too.

I am working on my home so that my mother and aunt can come over and watch a movie that we are all looking forward to seeing.  I want the place to sparkle and gleam for them, and it will be an incentive for having them over more often. I like having family over.

I love fall, and I can't wait for Samhain and Yule too.  I am going to start working on them very soon because this is a great time of year for Wiccans, Pagans and Witches.  These celebrations will become part of my traditions too.  I am excited.

My last Petscan showed that I am still cancer free, but lit something up in my colon.  A colonoscopy showed that I had a  huge polyp and the doctor removed it and it was clear of anything.  I need to go back in six months for another colonoscopy in six months just to make sure that everything is alright now.  I go back to my oncologist in December.

I think that I have to keep going to the oncologist for another year of surveillance just to make sure that I am going to stay clear of the cancer.

My hair has been growing back, but it seems to be coming in slowly.  It hasn't even hit my shoulders yet.  At first, it came in white and gray, now it is coming back in as my natural hair color.  I am glad about that.

I have gained a lot of weight. I am now thirty pounds heavier than I was when I started chemotherapy.  I am at one hundred fifty now, and it is bothering me a lot.  I think that it is my metabolism after the hysterectomy, and sitting around most days just watching television and not getting up to do anything.  I only eat one meal a day and a snack later on, so I am a bit uptight about this.  

This season will be awesome, and I cannot wait to see what is in store for the last three months of this year!

-Raven

London Bridge Is Down and Life These Days

There is a certain sadness that has been blanketing the world since yesterday morning.

After 96 years of life and 70 years, 214 days Queen Elizabeth Alexandra Mary, Queen of Great Britain and the Commonwealth has died.

Even though she was a queen to the UK, the rest of the world loved her.  We shared her sorrows and her joys, her upsets and her bad times as she shared ours all over the world.

She rallied her nation in times of trouble and strife even before becoming queen. She shared their burdens from World War II on.

I loved her because she was a piece of a country that I love, a couple of my favorite authors were born and died there....many of my favorite music artists are British.  I love British stories, and I love watching the monarchy and British television programs as much as I love Korean dramas.

I think that it is awesome that her reign outlived her great great grandmother, Queen Victoria AND it outlasted the reigns of her male predecessors.  She was a modern woman of her time like Queen Victoria and helped ease the citizen through the changing times.  

She sacrificed a lot for her country, at times she couldn't spend as much time with her children as I am sure she wanted to, but she made up for it as they got older.  

She was a present grandmother when her grandsons needed her.  During the loss of Diana, she chose to be there for her grandsons even though the nation was criticizing her for her slow response to the death of Diana.  She was following protocol.

I will be honest, I thought that she was purposely outliving her son because of how he had behaved throughout most of his life.  King Charles III was never one of my favorites in the family, but in recent years he has been proving himself to being the kind of person to represent the United Kingdom and the Commonwealth as Head of State.  His reign won't be very long, but I am sure that in his time, he will do a good job.  Still not a fan of the Queen Consort but that is alright.

Rest In Love, Your Highness and God save the King!!

Since the end of July, I have been taking myself into control. I began by re-starting my beauty routine and taking vitamins.  I felt that it was time for me to be proactive in my life so that I would feel better and be ready to return to work.

My latest Petscan showed that I am still basically cancer free but there was a few places between my colon and intestines that lit up and my doctor wants me to have a colonoscopy so that we can clear up the issue fast, but he doesn't think that this is cancer, which is good.

I have been trying to get more exercise and improving my stamina so that I can go back to work.

The only concern that I have is that I have gained thirty pounds and I now weigh more than I ever have in my life.  I don't like this and in research, found that I am now over weight, even though you can barely tell because it is distributed throughout my body.  I don't like this at all so I am trying to lose it in a healthy and positive way.

I have been so bored with everything in the last few months.  I am so ready to go out and start working again.  

I get lazy too.  I haven't even finished Diana Gabaldon's latest novel for some reason.  It has been out since last November.   I know that part of me wants to take it slow and savor it because Herself likes to take her time writing and makes sure that the novels are at their best, but this other little part of me doesn't want to read for some reason.  I will read in spurts sometimes. I don't know why I am like this.

This also happens when I try to knit.  I will knit for a while but then put it down and not do anythng with it for a week or so.  I quit in the middle of some of my projects too.

I don't like to watch a lot of television lately either.  I spend a lot of time watching Korean dramas though.  I need to figure out what is wrong with me these days and fix them.

Raven

Fall Is Coming!!

Fall is coming, and I cannot wait!  It is my favorite time of year.

While everyone is going crazy for the pumpkin everything, I am looking forward to the changing colors...

Between Mabon and Samhain, I can't wait for the oranges and browns that will saturate the earth for us as we prepare to move our lives inside.

I am looking forward to the cooling air and the scents that fall provides for us.

It's a time to fill our cupboards and closets for those cold months of winter.  To make sure that we have everything we need to maintain ourselves when we cannot.

I am stocking up my fall/winter reading, favorite foods and the things I need for my magickal practice.  I also have my fiction section stocked up too.

I have gone back to using a planner, and I think that I will start doing more with it so that I can write in my journal and in Outlander Musings more.  i should block time out for those activities.

I noticed that I have kept this blog for fifteen years come October.  That is exciting and I hope that I can continue The Blue Rose Journal on for a very long time. I just need to write again.

As the nostalgia bloomed in me, I went on Kindle and bought most of the books that I had once read and reviewed here.  I thought that it would be great to read those books once again and go back here and read my reviews on those books.

I was reading through here and missed those book reviews that I once did here.  I thought that it would be nice if I can do that again...and this time, include the books I read on my spiritual path.  That may go a long way towards keeping this blog active and help me remember to write more often...of course, it will give me more to do than just going for walks and sitting around watching movies all day.

It is now time for me to reactivate myself and get back to doing the things that I love so much!

Blessed be!

Raven

Life Is Getting There

It has been a very good month so far.

I have been doing most of the routines and taking the vitamins like I used to, and I am feeling a lot better.

I have been walking a lot more these days, connecting with nature and getting my spiritual groove back.  I think that things will be better once I am 100% back to my normal self.

Recently, I have been itching to recreate my alter.  I have been getting everything that I will need to set up.  I have a lot of stuff for my alter, but I just wanted a few little things that will enhance my spiritual power.

I am buying more books for my path as well so that I can enhance my growth as a Wiccan and strengthen my knowledge.  

Saturday, I am getting a huge witchy haul and I am so excited for the items to come in.  I have some crystals, books and other things that I fell in love with.  I can't wait to get them.

 Tomorrow, I will be getting some of the things that I ordered and I cannot wait to see them.

At this point, I am starting to feel better with myself and my life.  I am getting along with my family, I have found an old friend, and I am going back on my path.  

I am looking forward to Mabon this year.  I didn't celebrate Lamas, so Mabon will be my first celebration coming back in.  I am excited.

Everything seems to be getting better!

-Raven