Circle Sanctuary And Short Term Goals

 As soon as I get settled once again, I want to become a member of and visit Circle Sanctuary Nature Preserve in southwestern Wisconsin once it is safe again to go out into the world and explore its wonders.

Circle Sanctuary is a nature preserve that was founded by the amazing Reverend Selena Fox, who has done so many great things for the Pagan/Wiccan community. 

In creating this sacred space to revel in, she gives us an opportunity to enjoy Mother Nature in all her glory.

One of my many dreams in life is to meet this amazing soul and thank her for lobbying for the Pentacle to be allowed as a religious symbol on the graves of our brave soldiers-pagan warriors-who died in the line of duty.

Even though my father isn't a Pagan, he is a veteran, and I love and respect everyone who has served in the armed forces. So what Selena did deserves my respect as a veteran's daughter AND a Wiccan.

My one year anniversary at my job is coming up this week, and with that I will get a paid vacation.  I am going to save my money and use my vacation time to try to go during a festival or holiday when this pandemic is over, even if it takes me several years to save for this, I will go. This is like my own version of Disney World.

You can't help but admire a woman who has stuck by her convictions, stood her ground and kept a piece of Mother Earth pure and magickal. It has stayed that way in her hands for forty six years, and will remain that way long after she is gone because others will continue on with her legacy.

I would love to live on land that is far from others where only the animals, trees and streams are the only other occupants...where the lights are not artificial, and the Goddess walks freely, giving inspiration to those who look with their hearts and not their minds.

I will go there some day, but until then I will persevere through the things that I must so that I am free when I am able to go...I just ask the Goddess to keep Selena with us until that time.

I am having some problems recently with someone I am working with, but I will be making sure that I can protect myself from that person...and I will do something that nobody has done to this person before.  What I am planning to do will not be bad, nor will it harm them or my karma.  When I do what I MUST to feel comfortable and safe at my job, I will do so in a positive and loving way.

This psyvamp must learn that what they are doing isn't only draining for me and for others, but illegal. It is time that they learn that what they are doing is harassing and inappropriate in the workplace.

Once that issue is dealt with, I think that I will be able to feel free from the oppressive demon that seems to leach on my life. It will be one more step closer to getting what I need to get done in the future. 

By next month, if I do things according to plan, I will have a new home-September or October should be the second step in the changes that I need to make in order to be where I need to on my path. 

I am hoping to find a place nearby that is easy walking access to the places I need to go and quiet enough that I don't have to worry about the neighbors getting nosy and the landlord is nearby so that I know that if things need repairing, I won't have to wait for a long time to live with the problems...and I need a landlord that isn't shady.  I am hoping to find that soon.

While I am doing this, I am doing a bit of purging and packing.  I don't want to drag things that have darkness attached to them, and since I am only a pack rat when it comes to paperwork, it is mostly that.  

As for the financial side,I have purged a lot of the bills-paid them in full-so that I am not left with any financial burdens from the past. I do need to pay down my credit card again, but that won't be too hard here soon. 

I can't wait to get these things all done so that life will get a little smoother before the end of the year.. With the next phases of my goals being set into motion, I feel the weights of negative energies leaving mu shoulders.

Have a great night!

Blessed be!

Raven

200 Posts And Counting!!

This is my 200th post!   I am celebrating!!  YAY!!

I began this blog  on October 9, 2007...thirteen years ago.  Time does fly!

Two hundred posts of varying themes, thoughts, ideas, changes, music, reading, life, hardships and living in general.

I may have to do an anniversary post in October just to celebrate the first post...maybe not.

Since the poet in myself has awakened, I am hoping that this opens the door to more blogging and sharing better things with the world in general.  

I am glad that I began here, and that everyone who has read or been reading this blog will continue to do so. 

I hope that my future posts will be filled with magick, love, positive energies and good things.  I hope that I can look back on my posts from a good place in the future.

The learning experience I take from reading all of my posts from the past is this:  Everything passes, good and bad, and we get through it all!

So, to The Blue Rose Journal:

200 Posts and Counting!!  Let's celebrate!

Blessed be,

Raven

The Awakening of the Raven

After a long wait, and a lot of road blocks on my poetic journey, the Raven has finally come back out to write poetry.

There is a great hope that Dreams of the Blue Rose will once again become active now that the floodgates are opened.

It was so wonderful to be able to see the poet come back out of hiding after so long.  I had almost forgotten that she was there since she seemed to have fallen asleep for so long.

I think it may have been hard for me to see the magickal and wondrous side of the world when I deal with so much negativity recently.  I had forgotten what it is like to sit back, listening to Pagan and Wiccan music while searching the faery realm for that which cannot be seen here. 

Eventually Pegasus will return as well, it is only natural because both are parts of me that have always been there.  The Raven will remind her that it is time to stop sleeping and begin the dance once again. I cannot wait for that day.

With this reawakening, it will be hard to hide this from those around me, and I don't think that I will have a wish or desire to hide it.  I work around pessimists and ignorance so this will be a different for all of them once things start going the way they should.

I am so excited to see and feel the poet in me coming out to play once again.  I have missed this part of myself.  I cannot wait to see what will happen next for us.  

As this happens, other things begin to wake up inside of me, it is refreshing to feel the past collide with a new future, and I am so happy that it is beginning again, with a few differences and a lot of changes that I know the Raven thinks are necessary!

Blessed be

Raven 

General Chitchat

I am so bored these days.  I have cleaned and prepared everything to the point that there isn't much else for me to do.  I have finished many of my knitting projects, and am searching for something new to make...of course, that will be a perfect opportunity to go yarn shopping.

This summer has shown me something very sad...either I need to start exercising more or I need to just acknowledge that I am gaining weight and NEED to buy new clothes...sad, sad, sad.  I should buy new clothes anyway, most of my clothes are close to 8 or 9 years old and growing raggedy by the year. 

Gaining weight isn't that big of a scare for me because I was always below 110 lbs until I hit 45.  I couldn't gain weight no matter how hard I tried to.  I always looked like I was skin and bones. The cold weather would just blow right through me when the weather went below 65 degrees. I hated the cold because of that.  Now, I am getting some meat on my bones and I feel very good about sometimes..or until I have to take a deep breath, lay down on the bed just to zip up my ants (giggles at this).

I know that many will not sympathize with me, and that isn't my objective.  I just think that maybe I should just get some exercise so that I don't accidentally create physical problems for myself in the future. I think that size doesn't matter when you are healthy...and the doctors think it as well.

I am reading more and more these days because I want to grow in my path.  I also want to make sure that I become more stable in my convictions. So far, practicing has been a little hard because of my job and the heat that slowly saps my energy once I am home.  It will take some discipline and time, but I will get myself on track here.

So far, finances still look very good, and the big boss has been very kind in letting me get more hours in different departments.  I had to remind him the other day that I know how to do almost everything in that company once I am shown how their equipment and procedures work.  One of the reasons why I was not laid off in the beginning of this pandemic was because of what I CAN do now, but I have been showing the big bosses that I KNOW and CAN do a lot more than they realize. I like being useful at work, it gives me a sense of personal pride.

By the end of August, I will have my one year anniversary and I plan to begin the company 401(k) and begin planning for vacation time.  I want to use my vacation in conjunction with getting thing done, like going to the dentist.

I am hoping that by the time I can get vacation time, I can use my dental to fix the things wrong with my teeth...then again, I want to make sure that when that time comes, the world will be seeing the backside of this pandemic.

I still haven't found a place to live, but I do have one or two prospects that are within the budget I set for myself, and I am hoping that I can get to at least one of them before this month is out.  I am getting a little antsy about it because I want to move and be settled before September so that I can get comfortable before winter hits. 

As for everything else in my life, it's all good.  I just keep throwing the bad out of my mind and think on the positive side.  Karma is working for me recently.

-Raven

Finding What Was Lost, Looking For What Was

Over the course of the last few weeks I have been cleaning and preparing to leave the place that I am living.  I think that I have almost completely purged my life of the rubbish and bad vibes that have hovered over me and my life.  

In the purging, cleaning, and general re-organization of my home, I have found my Wiccan books. I think that was what I was looking for because I began to re-read them and to finally start to discover a lot about myself.

In finding those books, re-reading them, and practicing a bit, I am finding that I am starting to become stronger in my own resolve in many aspects of my life and my job.

I have been receiving so much negativity recently that I have been near tears trying to figure out what was truly wrong.  

I started wearing my protection jewelry as well.  I am trying to prevent these people from causing me to doubt myself.  

I think that I have also learned how to call them fools in Japanese and Korean...I have been showing my intelligence level a lot over the last week or so in a passive aggressive attempt to keep the trash from entering my personal space.  By the amount of negative energy that keeps trying to fly my way, I would say it is working.

 I haven't found a new place to live, but it will happen when the time is right. In the meantime, I am doing what I can to prepare financially and physically.

Finances still look very good, and more to come.  I am able to do what I need to do while I save for what I want to do.

While the world is slowly getting back online, I am working to get to where I need to be, and with patience and diligence, I think I will do very well.

There are some things that I feel like I am missing recently.  I keep having visions in my head of things that seem to be of the past, and I dream of people whom I have never met in this life.  

There is one in mt dreams that I have always dreamed of, and the source of my poetry on Dreams Of The Blue Rose.  I think I miss him the most, and I believe that I have either missed him this time, or I will meet him  eventually.  

I have also been missing people from this life...my stepsister, grandfather, grandmother, and my step grandparents.  I don't know why I am missing them right now, but I feel sad instead of happy when I think of them.

It may be because my grandfather's birthday is in three days. I have been hearing his laughter quite a lot recently.  

Don't get me wrong, I am glad that they aren't living right now during this trying time, and that they are not in any danger of the pandemic, but I still wish they could be here for just a little while so that I can reassure myself that life is good.

/Some of this is probably because of the changes that I am making in my life.  It may be a counteract to the negativity that I have been dealing with outside of my home or it could be that I am hearing the calling that I should be hearing.  

My spirit has finally stopped longing for things, so maybe I want to re-visit the past so that I can say goodbye and move on to the next level of life.

No matter how I look at things, I need to realign myself and continue on with the good things that I have been doing.  I need to go forward in this next incarnation of my life.

-Raven

Thoughts, Plans, Wavering and Other Assorted Odds and Ends

I cannot believe that June is one day away, and summer is on our doorstep. What a weird six months this has been for everyone already.  

I am ready for some beautiful weather and finally getting to be around people again.  Even if we need to do so cautiously, it will be nice to resume life again. 

I think that it is safe to say that all of us are thinking the same thing. We all just want to get back to what we were doing before, even with precautions in place.

As for me, things will get better at work because I won't have to do as much as I did before unless I volunteer to do so. It may mean that I will have to work on Saturdays again, but that is ok.  I am still working, and that is what is important.

I am still looking for a good place to live, and hope to move very soon. I'll be working on packing as I look and finish purging my things so that I don't have to take unnecessary things into my new home.

I finally finished working on my Outlander blog, with plans to do other things with it, I finally decided that I should just go for it and get it updated while the last season aired.  I will probably start doing the re-reading on the novel in the next day or so.

Since I now have my health and dental insurance, I will be able to do some things that I wasn't able to do.  When the pandemic is over, and the last of my financial issues are resolved, I will do them.  I can't wait!  I feel like an average person with these benefits right now.

In the middle of August, I will be able to add two more benefits to my life: vacation and 401k.  I am looking forward to both of these because I haven't had either in many years.  I am trying to get my future in order.  I am also hoping that once I get everything done with moving and with playing catch-up on everything, I hope to open an IRA at my bank. 

I think that as I am getting older, there are things that I want to make sure are in place for my life so that I feel more comfortable.  I had already decided when I turned fifty that I was going to make sure that my future was going to be better than it has been. I want to take vacations, have a retirement plan, have the insurances that I need to take care of myself.

Once that IRA and everything in that direction is settled, I will work on the simple things that I have neglected in the past...driver's license and a car. 

I did open a secured credit card last October as a safety measure for the future. It works like a normal credit card, but I had to put down a certain amount as a deposit, which is also the limit.  Since I got the card, I have used it a bit, but because I am looking ahead, I have tried to ignore the due date, and pay off increments or replace what I used on paydays...sometimes, even making two or three payments a month and making the monthly payments on time (this month, I will be late on my payment by a few days, but the bank said that because I made payment amounts that equal out to the minimum throughout the month, I won't pay a penalty or late fees). I have been doing really well with this card, and it comes through my bank.  

At this point, I have finally settled down financially, with the credit card, I even opened a checking account...this goes hand in hand with my savings account and a debit account that I have (this account is the main one that money flows into, and I turn around and transfer to savings and checking-the checking is for writing checks for bills, the savings is for the future, and the debit account is the budget that I am allowed to spend during the week, plus the bills that are paid online). These accounts are necessary to keep me on track for what I need to do, and what I want to do in the future.

It will all work out, I just need to make sure that I stick with my plans.

Recently, I have been wavering on my religious outlook.  It seems that I am going towards the past there as well.  It seems that I am being called back, but I am not sure yet what that means.  It may be because I had spent a year with this universal religion for a year before becoming part of its family fifteen years ago, and right before I started studying another spiritual path...I wavered on both for years then too, but something keeps trying to bring me back to the first. 

I may mention it again in the future, but for now I need to spend time thinking about what I am being called for and what I need to do with it.

I have been knitting a lot more recently.  It is an easy thing to do while watching television or listening to an audio book.  I want to do something with it.  I love the feel of yarn in my hands and the needles producing something so awesome.  I have a few projects that I am working on now that are easy to do, but I am longing to learn more stitches so that I can make more elaborate and beautiful things.

I may have mentioned this before, but I want to learn how to spin wool into yarn, and to dye yarn so that I can make projects practically from scratch.  It would be so cool to be able to say that I made that from spinning the wool into yarn to dying the yarn and then to knitting the project. Someday I may try my hand at learning how to create my own patterns...not sure that would ever happen, but it's always a possibility.  I love the yarn arts, and may get the gumption to try my hand at crocheting again in the future.  

During this time, I have also been devouring cookbooks and been obsessed with baking.  I am trying to find new recipes for the time that we are able to gather together again.  I am also going online and going gaga over pots, pans, bakeware, and other kitchen appliances.  I want to be able to contribute dishes for functions. Part of me is just plain tired of microwaving dinner or ordering Door Dash. I am also tired of eating meals out of a can or eating a sandwich. 

There is so much on my mind, and so much I want to do with my life for the rest of this year, I can only forge ahead, figure things out, plan, and make short term goals to get me through this time. Once things are figured out, learned, then set into motion, I think that I will be in a good place to set up my future after fifty. 

I want my life to be comfortable going into the next decade, and I want to start getting settled into how I want it to be.  I call it my dream life or living comfortably in the future.

Please continue to be safe!

Writing Again, Last Rites of Negative Posting and Looking Forward to the Future

I have been thinking a lot this weekend, and how I am tired of doing life the way that I have been.

Even though I am in the process of finding a new place to live, there are things that I want to do now.

I want to write and I want to empower myself or protect myself from those who are now trying to pull me down.

Writing has been calling me a lot lately, and I really do want to get back to it.  

I am also in the process of finding some good spells and empowerment exercises to do so that when I am at work, it doesn't affect me when I come home to write and live a quiet life without negativity following me in. I am hoping to find a way so that I can move into a new home without worrying about it all following me where ever I go.

It's been funny lately.  I have been able to say what needs to be said, and when I do it comes out strong, and I feel stronger about myself.

There's something in me that wants to show those Mayberry Ignorant Fools who I really am most days.  Though, throwing out my lexicon to that crew would only be a waste of my time.  Instead I will just do what I have to do and show the ones who sign my paycheck my worth since the ones who do this are only on the lower rungs of the workplace food chain.

So, after talking about that, I don't want to ever mention work or anything negative again.  I have too many good things to focus on. I will protect myself every day and wear my self pride on my shoulders as I always have, and always plan to. I will ignore the stares and backbiting of those who will be forgotten once I walk out of work every day.

Now on to other more positive things...

I already have a few poems and a story in my head that I cannot wait to flesh out and share with the world.   I want to get Dreams of the Blue Rose active once again. It will be so much fun to get back to writing again!!  I can't wait to get to it once again.

My financial situation is looking comfortable, and I will continue to make it so that I won't worry about finances as the years go by.  

Since I have been kissed by the Goddess with luck, I have been able to keep my job through this tough time, and have been able to get some things paid off or paid down so that I won't worry when I find somewhere else to live.  I may even be able to drive once again and not rely on the bus for anything,and I can walk once again for the thrill of it.

In this time of change, I know that I am using this time wisely to walk the path that I am supposed to and not see it as a bad thing, but a valuable lesson.  I know that this world is full of uncertainty and people are crazy, so I will continue to be positive and not let others affect my outlook through this.  

Knitting has actually become a happy distraction for me as well.  I haven't done much in starting new projects, but I am working on the ones that I started, and am looking at what else I can make that I can knit my own energies and love into.

I am so excited about the next stage of my life and everything that I want to accomplish!!  I hope everyone else has that same feeling, and that what is happening worldwide will change the hearts of even the most negative people in the world.

Blessed be!
Raven