I have decided that as I clean my apartment, I am going to replace a lot of the things that are old or chipped.
For example, my dishes are so old and chipped, they need to be thrown out. I want to replace them with more festive and pretty patterns...
I have already replaced my table cloth and it has brightened my mood.
Now, I can't replace everything right now because of financial issues, but I can do this over time and as I have the money to do so. It is another slow going process, but it will happen.
I am also going to pull a Truvy from Steel Magnolias and decorate for the holidays, I think that if I have these physical signs, they will help lift my spirits...even seasonal decorating will help keep me from feeling down or depressed.
It would also encourage me to want to have people over every once in a while to entertain and not feel so lonely!
I am still working on the cleaning aspect of my home right now, clearing out the messes and giving myself more space, it is liberating for me. I don't feel so exhausted when I come home from work and see messes everywhere, but clean places.
I have one more big bill to pay off, and I know I can do that by the middle or end of July and I will be fine. This bill is my electric and it will be great because I don't want to start out the winter in debt and unable to pay the bill. I am excited because this will mean that I am caught up to the point I need to be.
I am not getting forty hours a week at my job right now because it is summer and this business is kind of slow, but I am doing what I can to make 30-35 every week so I can afford to eat and live.
I am working on getting my routines in order so that I can write. The biggest problem I have is that I am too tired to go online at night or on my computer. I am remedying this by starting to take vitamins and eating well, this includes having food in my fridge so I don't get tempted to go eat out at a restaurant all the time, and waste that money.
Work is alright, I am doing my protection and empowerment ritual every morning to make sure that things go well, and I am at the point where I have shut out most of what the people at work do or say so it doesn't get to me...it is just easier this way.
I am trying not to participate in the complaining sessions at lunch time. I can't find a spot to go to get away from this or them, but I am learning to tune it all out. I am half tempted to take my Kindle to work with me so I can read it and ignore them. I am still trying to figure out my new mp3 so that I can tune them out that way as I work.
I am also working on my bad language habits. I am replacing the bad with good and trying to think in a positive way. It will be good karma for me.
I am reading more these days and playing around less. I like this because it helps me fill space.
I am also considering those projects I talked about in the past...maybe doing one or two or even starting a book review blog might be fun...who knows, but I will eventually try.
One step, one heart, and one love at a time...my journey is a not so well worn path.
29 June 2013
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