Monday morning, I got up to go to work...I wasn't feeling too well, and thought that if I got physically ill, or I didn't get rid of the upset stomach by 10:30 a.m. I was going home....
My wonderful, beautiful, amazingly awesome (I'm being fecitious here) car had a flat tire...I must have gotten it on the way in to work, because I don't remember having one when I left.
My first thought was that I wouldn't be able to go home right away...damnit!!
I ended up calling my insurance company's "free roadside assistance"...my friends, the call for this service is free, what they failed to mention in those lovely ads is that the "assistance" itself isn't...great!!!
I'll start off by saying that the guy sent to fix my flat tire got lost...and he admitted to living off the major road where I was at...nice....fun, lovely!! I had to talk the guy into the complex.
The guy gets out of his van, one leg at a time wearing flip flops, and I am thinking "great, they've sent a real Boob to do this for me"...I was wrong....the rest of Mr. Roadside Assistance, Knight In Shining Armor gets out....
Ladies, I think my heart skipped several thousand beats!!! This guy was HOT HOT HOT!!!! We are talking 6' of dark hair, huge chocolate brown eyes and a smile that made the sun want to cry!!! OMGDS I was lost!!!
He was very nice, and his name is Michael (a name I can not escape in this lifetime for some reason), and he comes inside about 10 minutes later with bad news.....my SPARE TIRE IS FLAT!! Ok, friends, I had just gone through this with that old car not long before I let it go to it's grave!!! Can you say and embarrassing AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!
Anyway, Michael offers to take the tire to see if it will hold air, and I am thinking that there would be no point, I may as well go ahead an buy a new tire-get it over with. I tell him no, that I would call my Dad (my true Knight in Shining Armor) to see if he could help.
When I asked Michael how much it would cost, he said he normally charged $45 for the service, but since he couldn't do more than put on and take off a dead spare tire, that I should only pay him what I thought was fair...and it would be an "under the table" job for him....
Sucker that I am, I looked into his huge chocolate brown eyes, and he smiled, and I paid the full amount....couldn't help myself. When I did, he blessed me and smiled even bigger...and my brain because fuzz!!!
My dear friends, fellow healthy, normal, red blooded ladies...the man started flirting with me, and I MISSED IT!! I am a shame and a disgrace to my kind...poor Lunawolfseeker bowed her head in shame as she heard that!!! I cannot believe that I totally missed it when he was asking me if the town on the check I was writing to him was my actual home...he was trying to engage me in conversation, and my fuzz brain totally lost it...I blame the man's smile and those eyes!!!!
Well, he left, and I called my dad who was not having a great day with the men who were installing his new furnace (they were supposed to be gone by 4:30 p.m. and were still there around 7:45 p.m.(, so I had to wait for my step mom to get home from work before Dad could come out. He said he would call me later in the afternoon and let me know he was on his way.
Well, around 4:14 p.m., I get a call on my cell phone that I don't recognize...and I have my Dad's number in my address book and in my circle network so his calls come through identified...but I answer the phone...it's Michael...he's on his way over to me and on his way home because he "accidentally drove off with my car keys...he is soooooo sorrrrrryyy!"
I just laughed and said that I hadn't been out to the car yet, and thought that he'd left my keys in the car...to which he told me he would NEVER do that, especially to a woman....
Michael gets there to give me my keys, and I thought that would be a perfect time to rectify my earlier mistake...maybe flex my flirting muscles. My friends, it wasn't meant to be...my boss came in two seconds before Michael, and I couldn't flirt....*sobs*
Anyway, to end this crazy story, I got off work and waited for my dad for about an hour and 45 minutes, and it turns out he couldn't change the tire on Monday night because it wouldn't be ready until the morning...so Dad had to drive me home from work, drive me in the next morning, go pick up that waaaaayyyyy to expensive tire for my car, and put it on my car...I didn't get home until around 7:45 p.m. and didn't get to go to the library to check out my other treasure (the one I will be telling you about soon)...and ran down my cell phone battery checking my favorite sites- WritersCafe.org, Jonas Armstrong Fansite.net...especially that one..lol
You know what? All day Monday, as I was feeling sick, and the flat tire, the missed flirting opportunity...I kept thinking of something.
You may not know this, but Gilda Radner is one of my heroes....she married Gene Wilder (the original Willy Wonka). She was a comedian, and a cast member of Saturday Night Live in the 1970's with some of the original cast...she fought cervical cancer for many years before passing on from the disease.
Gilda played a goofy role...a character named Roseanne Roseanne Adanna who always had a commentary on the news section of SNL...she would always go nuts and say crazy things because she got one word wrong in the news story itself...when someone would finally correct her, she would look at the camera and say "Never mind!" with a silly smile on her face.
However, this isn't what I was thinking about all day long as I was going through my crazy Monday...to which I am now certain that Mondays, vehicles and myself are doomed whenever we meet...it was another catch phrase of Roseanne's.
You see, Gilda had a very loving, funny and sweet Jewish father that she writes about in her book (she passed away weeks after it's release) and she took Roseanne's other catch phrase from him...a phrase she used in her life, even when she was at her worst...and wanting to be funny in the face of her disease...
I know that my situation is not as bad as hers was...or my other friend's are at the moment, but in my mind it was bad...but this phrase got me through Monday...as it has gotten me through other bad times.
You see, no matter what we do, where we go....
"IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING!!"
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