Marching Forward

I know it has been a while since I have blogged, life has been a bit weird for the last few months.

I have been working on refreshing my mind and practicing a bit of Wicca and setting up my alter. I know that it has taken me a long time to finally do this here in my home, but I needed to get the apartment settled before I could create the spaces I needed for magickal practice and feel secure in my home.

At this point, I have been able to gather all of tools that called to me except two, and they are my censor and my BOS.  I don't mind the fact that I cannot find a BOS because I am once again at the starting point in my traditions and life, and would prefer to wait until I have at least two thirds of my craft created before I can make it permanent.  I am content to use a binder for now. The censor will come when the time is right and we are aligned.

I am still working on getting my home settled.  I have already been searching out a nice television and a few other household necessities that I need for daily living.  I know that I have been taking a long time to do this, mainly because I had been so uncomfortable living in this place, but I have been here about eleven months, and I am finally accepting this place as mine, even if the surrounding area makes me very uncomfortable.

My finances finally stabilized so that I will be able to continue to obtain the necessities for my home and magickal life.  I have been able to fill my cupboards and get everything under control.  Things will be fine now.
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I have also been able to get my insurances through my work, and come August, I will have vacation time coming to me...it is just too bad that I quit my job last year and had to restart everything over again because I would have had my vacation pay by now....but then again, I wouldn't have been able to get that raise and the added bonus that comes with it had I not come back.  I wouldn't also have been able to show my boss the extent of my experience and knowledge of the business.  I am now in a position where they know that I can perform any job within the department and in the other department, and they can use that to their benefit since they know I will do it.

The next two or three steps in this year long transformation is working on my diet and health.  I don't need to loose weight, but I want to live a healthier lifestyle, so eating better will be my goal starting April 1. I know I said that I wanted to become vegan, and that may yet happen, but in order to do that, I will have to start slowly and integrate more organic foods into the mix as well as slowly eliminating the junk food...since I am currently cutting those back by leaps and bounds these days, that isn't much of a problem.

I have also become lazy these last few months, I rely on the bus to get to places that would normally take me ten to fifteen minutes to walk.  I need to stop this and get my body moving more.  I also have come to rely on the grocery store delivery service for my groceries.  While this is a good service, I could use the exercise in carrying some of the groceries.  

I have stopped eating at restaurants once a week though. That saved money and helped me stop eating junk as often.

There is one more thing that needs to start going again, and that is knitting on a daily basis.  I want to get my yarn business going, but this is another area where I have become lax. The problem had become my obsession with Asian programs and watching subtitled shows.  I can't knit and read the subtitles at the same time, so I have neglected my knitting.  So, it is time to change that and limit my Netflix and other venues to watching the shows that I can listen to while knitting.

I have also been very lazy about keeping up with my knitting blog and other sites that I usually spend time in...that will change as time goes by.

For now, things are moving along, and I am going to work towards my life goals for the rest of this year, and make things happen so that I no longer need to worry about bad things happening.

Spring is here, and with it comes the promise of beauty all around us, warmer weather and new beginnings with flowers, April showers, sunshine, and animals coming back or awakening from the long winter nap...I think I was one of those particular creatures.  I am ready for the rest of my life. 

Blessed Be

Happy Birthday

One year away from being a half century old!!  I am excited!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! 

Happy Holidays

Hey everyone!

Life has been a bit hectic and going way too fast! I got sick recently as well so blogging has been put off a bit.

2019 is approaching fast and I can't wait! I have a few goals for the year.

Starting now, I will be working hard to establish my spiritual, financial and physical being.

As the year finishes out, I will be cleaning my space and clearing my brain to make room for the changes.

I didn't celebrate Yule because I was sick, but that's alright for now since I'm still re-learning and working on practicing the creation of Sacred Space.

After Thanksgiving, I had my first Chakra reading. The only Chakra that needs working on is my throat Chakra.

I've never gotten into learning about Chakras, but my curiosity is strong now. I'm interested in learning more.

I have been neglecting my Shadow Journal, so I will be working on getting into the habit of writing and recording as much as possible.

While I am working with the Lord and Lady, I will begin to work on my dream of having a small business. I'm not planning to make a lot of money from it, but just a little to supplement my income while working towards a more financially stable life.

In this mix, I have plans to make myself more healthy and physically happy...not with a partner, but for myself. I do love myself, but some areas need a little improving. Nothing major, just what needs doing.

I'm looking forward to the new year and my 49th birthday...this will be a great year!!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

Going Organic, Slowly

I have started a bit of the transition into becoming vegan.

I am replacing many foods with organic and today, I bought a lot of organic and non processed food.  Mostly vegetables and fruits.

I am going to start looking up recipes for more dishes to crowd out the meats and dairy.  I think this will be so much fun.  I can't wait to replace a lot of my foods with a healthier path.

I am choosing this path simply because it is healthier and I am getting older.  I hope this will counter a lot of the medical issues I am seeing in my parents. I have only had a food allergy to any and all poultry my entire life, but seeing my father develop high blood pressure, kidney problems and have a pacemaker put in, I do not want that to happen to me.  

My mother has breathing problems from asthma that developed later on in her life, and has had some medical issues outside of her usual allergies, and I hope that I can avoid those as well.  I want to live a healthier and longer life.

I am on the verge of quitting smoking too. I am getting tired of doing some days.  I will figure out a way to quit very soon.  I think it is time.

I am still reading Amber K's True Magick, but it is going slow due to work and other obligations in my life, but I am determined to move forward on my path. I am enjoying what I am reading and looking forward to every page I turn.

I am still looking for a new place to live.  It is slow going, but the full paychecks I am now getting are a great help to me and my finances.  It was nice to go to the grocery store today and buy more food than I normally do. It felt freeing to know that I won't have to worry about starving.

Next month, I am hoping that I can change more than my spiritual and health lifestyle...I am hoping to have a new home and be able to get my knitting business off the ground.  I know I won't be able to make a lot of money at this, but it would be nice to have extra cash in the bank.

Once this year is over, and my final committee obligations are at an end, I plan to stop doing as much for the American Legion Auxiliary.  I love the place, but I feel that after nine or so years of constantly doing things for them when I want to do other things with my life, it is time to start cutting the ties to that place so that I can move in the right direction in my life.  

I am also tired of always having to do things for them and feeling emotionally empty when it is over with because I only feel used when it is over with. I get where I need to go, do what I need to do, then feel drained afterwards.  I know that this is for veterans, but I still need time for me.

I don't know about anyone else, but I am looking forward to Samhain and the holiday season! I love the holidays, and I am looking forward to doing my own traditions from here on out!  It will be so fun to have my own thing to do...

I feel like my future is full of more opportunities than it ever has in the past. I feel so much better about myself and my life now that I have made the decisions that I have made.  I feel great now that I have finally been able to begin the changes that need to be made.

I think that the next year and a half will be full of ups and downs, but it will be a great ride for me and I am excited.

Blessed Be
Raven

Chit Chat

So far, my job is proving to be a good choice on my path forward, with the exception of one person. I will take care of this problem in a better way than I would have before, which was to be passive about a person causing conflict in my life...now, I will be more straight forward and use my talismans against the negativity of this person.

I can see hope on my horizon as I take care of the financial situation and get myself out of this apartment that is full of unpleasantness.  I just need to finish what I started and move forward one day at a time.

Since I have decided to not hide my spiritual path, my heart and mind seem to be on a more tranquil and even footing recently.  I am now reading True Magick by Amber K, and working through it.

My goal is to LIVE my path on a daily basis.  I want to build my traditions and routines centered around Wicca and that means that I must form habits of devotion and time set aside for the Lord and Lady.

So far, I have been pulling a Rune every morning to put in my talisman pouch.  This Rune is a guide for my day, and shows me what I need to look out for or what I should be aware of.  I like doing this so far.

I want to find some herbs or an oil that helps to further the protection stone and success stone that resides in this pouch.  More research is afoot. (grins)

Recently, my girlfriend broke up with me.  This isn't a bad thing since we ended it amicably and to be honest, we didn't have much in common and I never really saw us as a couple since we live so far away from each other. This was something that in my heart, I wanted and didn't have the heart to do myself for fear of hurting her.  This is another time where I should be more assertive, and that is something I am working on as the year progresses.

This month is progressing very well, and I am very happy.  Even though I spend most of my working days running around doing different things, I am satisfied that my supervisor feels that she can put a bit of trust in me, and seems happy to have me there.

I have an uncle who is not expected to live out the week.  I barely know the man, but he is my father's brother. He has been sick on and off for a very long time, so this may be a blessing in some ways for him. I wish him well on his journey.

I have been working on getting more sleep lately.  It is working to my advantage in a lot of ways, and I am proud of myself for the new morning routine.  I feel human again after all this time.

I haven't done much knitting lately, so I will try to incorporate that in very soon. I am anxious to get this part of my life started so that I can use it for the greater good of my bank account.

As you will see, I finally fixed my name on this blog to reflect my Wiccan name and lifestyle.  It used to be there a long time ago, but for some reason, I changed it and forgot that I had.  It's ok if you know my real name, but if I am to continue on as I mean to, I think that using my witchy name is more appropriate, don't you?

This is what has been going on in my life since I blogged last.  I will update more soon.  I may even talk about the books I am reading and the things I am doing on my path.

Blessed Be
Raven Pegasus

Goaling It Forward

As the year progresses, I am finding myself racing to get the goals I have set for myself accomplished in some form or another.

The first goal was to re-discover myself spiritually, and I am well on my way towards that end. This journey so far has been awesome, and the year has been full of personal discoveries.

I love what I am doing in my path, however I need to start practicing more.

The next goal was to have a good home that I could afford and live a peaceful life in.  

So far that isn't happening, so I am currently searching for a better place to live with less hassle. I have been dealing with a leak in my ceiling that is the result of faulty plumbing from the noisy assholes who live in the apartment upstairs.  This has caused my apartment to be infested by gnats, and I am constantly buying apple cider vinegar, Raid and gnat traps to kill them, but to no avail.

Most of the original problems were not fixed before I moved in, and they were basically hidden from me.  There is a lesson here for the next time I search out an apartment.

I have begged and pleaded with management to fix these problems and have not seen a result in the three months I have been here.  He has not even bothered to address the noise issues from upstairs that prevents me from living a decently quiet life.  

The complex itself has had numerous visits from local law enforcement, and it is disgusting to see when I expected this place to be a nice place.

So, the next step here is to find a better place to live and just move on. No sense in putting my money in escrow when that will cost more and I will still have to live here until they fix the problems..and cause strife between myself and the complex when I have problems again.  

The next goal was to have a good job where I can support myself.  

When I quit the job I started the year out, I did so because it was supposed to be a better opportunity, but things didn't work out, and after having a rocky few months, I was called back to the company I started the year out in, and everything seems to have changed a lot in energy levels...it seems there are more positive energies in the place than before.

I was also told that I am NOT allowed to quit again because I just fit there, and as long as I can work, they will always hire me back. That was something that made me feel very good about what I accomplished there and how my work ethic pays itself off.  I am also planning to stay with this company through the good and the bad for as long as I can.

I am a bit in the hole right now with finances, but I will be able to quickly get back on track and have things going again.

The next goal I had set for myself was to start working on setting up my own business.  

This goal is a little harder than I want to admit to, but right this minute, I am working on the knitted projects and trying to figure out how to best get launched.  I want my own knitting business, but in order to do that I will need to get the projects done, this includes setting up knitting time and working with patterns, finding a good venue for selling my product and getting my social media sites set so that I can advertise.  

This also means setting up a following for myself through blogging and other means to get things going.

I know that I will not make much money from my venture, but that is alright, it would be extra money for things that I need or want.

I am also considering doing this from a Wiccan perspective as well, making alter cloths, bags, pouches, etc for the community.  I am already on a Pagan social network, so I can go there and show my work.

I would love to learn to spin my own yarn and dye it too.  That would be a cool way to go about making original works.

The next thing I wanted to accomplish this year was to establish a routine for my home life.  This would include my beauty regime, knitting, meal time, and Internet time. 

So far, I have been able to set up a rough routine, and you can see some of the result of what I am accomplishing.  Unfortunately, with the rough patch when I worked barely 25 hours for a couple of months, I lapsed  a little bit, so I am trying to get things going in a more rigid way, and that is slowly going to build momentum in the next few weeks as I readjust to my old job. 

I do need to get organized and  have everything written down that I need to do, and keep track of, and keep in the habit of carrying it with me and writing important things down. I have one little planner, but I rarely carry it with me or look at it, and I need to fix that problem.

I know I have a simple life, but I will need the planner/organizer to log my knitting time as well as all of my other responsibilities for the coming months. Fall and most of the winter are busy times for me.

I will continue to work on this one, and make it part of the goals for next year to continue on with this one and working on routine.

The final goal for the year was to attempt to quit smoking and possibly become Vegan or Vegetarian.

So far, I have not been able to get these two into the arena to try. 

I wanted to quit smoking first, but for some reason, I have not been able to quit.  I know it is hard to do, and there are a lot reasons to do so.  I could blame stress and the things that I have going through the last few years, but I can truly say that smoking is a mental habit as much as it is a physical one.  It has been hard to get my brain around not smoking. I know I need to quit, but getting my brain to say that it wants to quit is hard, it expects the habit to happen.

So, my next step on this is probably going to happen this week.  I am temporarily broke, so I can't buy any until the end of the week, and even then, I don't know if I will be able to afford it after then either.

If this does work, I will go to the next step of this plan in October when I am hoping to move into a new place...becoming a Vegetarian.

I really want to be an organic Vegetarian then Vegan because it will help my health, and my goal is to be fifty in 2020 and look like I am forty.

I think that if I start out slowly, I can slowly replace meats and dairy from my diet by New Year's day. 

There are other goals that sit at the back of my heart at the moment, and I am taking things slowly at this time.

The job will help me to support myself, and if I work well and save money, my other goals will be within reach of accomplishing. There are so many other things I want to do before or by the time I am fifty years old.

Next year, part of my goal is to be driving again, save money so that I no longer have to worry about the future, take a small vacation, and have a nice small business. These things are longer term, and every goal that I will set for myself will rely on the accomplishments of this year.

I do want to write a novel, keep doing all things Outlander, blogging about my new ventures, and get back to the sites that I miss more than anything. 

I also want to go to Canada to visit my girlfriend and be with her, and bring her here to be with me for a while too.  In order to do that, I will need to be able to drive, have vacation time, and a place to live that she will be comfortable coming to.

Since I am rediscovering my Wiccan path, I am hearing the voices of my true self and heritage.  I feel the connections to what and who I truly am again. I am starting to feel my distant past in my soul again, and I FINALLY feel alive again.

I feel myself coming home to myself and I am more interested in living this magickal path than I have ever been anywhere else.  I feel the shackles being lifted from my soul and it is awesome!

I am loving my life right now and how well it is going. Every day is a wonderful discovery.

My goal by the time I am fifty is to be able to go to Pagan festivals and gatherings just to make friends who have this in common with me.  That's another thing to look forward to in the future.

I also want to go to Wool Festivals and other Fiber arts events throughout the Midwest and south.  It would be so cool to do yarn crawls throughout the area.

Once I am able, I would love to create my own personal vegan/vegetarian personal cookbook.  I wouldn't sell it, but use it for myself. 

I know that a lot of what I am doing now, and planning to do for my future will not sit well with some of my friends and family members, but I can't be concerned about what they want for me, or what they think of what I should be or do.  I am no longer going to care about their censure or judgment. I am who I am, and that is what I have decided that it is time to be.

I am a Wiccan Witch, bi-sexual, ageless, and proud of that, and from now on, I will do what I have to do to be who and what I am. I will love whom I love, like the things I like, worship the way I feel connected to, and enjoy life on my terms.

I won't wait until some of the older members of my family to die before I can live the way I want to, I will do it now. I won't fake it or hide it either. I'm tired of hiding it from others, and I am tired of trying to please them.

Since I am working on my goals and have more coming, I don't have time or the desire to worry about what others think or feel towards my decisions.

I have begun my personal shadow journal for my journey, and I considered doing it all here, but I changed my mind and just write about my path on paganspace.net under my Wiccan name.  I am trying to build up the blog there and make friends.

I noticed that I have very few posts here in this year, and there has been so much going on that was bad and good that should have been recorded, but without Internet or using my cell phone, it was hard to write good posts. I am a little ashamed of that.

I will try my best to write more here and set up a better system of updating my life. I forgot what it was like to blog or write in a journal.  I used to love this.

I miss writing in Tea In Austenland too. I will have to just do something with that too, I have some ideas right now that may incorporate that blog.

In the last months of this year, I will try to work more in the blogs and knitting, living my Wiccan life, and doing my Outlander thing as well. 

So much going on, so much to do, and so much to look forward too, I am excited and feeling great about the road I am on right now.

Happy Labor Day!

Wicca and New Beginnings

I recently wrote a blog about going back to Wicca and going on a new life journey.

So far, this is proving to be a great choice for me. I feel like I am reconnecting with the world I am meant to be in.  Life isn't going super great, but it is inspiring me to live.

I have begun again by re-reading Scott Cunningham's book, WICCA.  It is the perfect refresher course on how to begin from the beginning and give myself over to learning my craft-again.

Since I began the re-reading, my poetic muse is starting to stir again.  I have always loved writing poetry and giving over to my heart and what it truly wants to write about.  I will be exploring that more on Dreams of the Blue Rose very soon.

The next on my list of authors to read is Amber K and a book on the Runes.  I may just try to read two magickal books a day just to get back in touch easily.  I don't want to move fast on my path but it seems that I need to refresh my memory and work on it more indepth on a daily basis.

I have joined PaganSpace so that I can connect with others of the Occult and learn from them.  I encourage everyone to join the site.  It is always nice to go there and read the message boards, write a blog or read someone else's or just see who is in the chat room.  The site is much nicer than trying to find other like minded people on Facebook since it is censured there and hard to be yourself for fear of bullying or some other prejudiced attitudes.

My profile is Raven Pegasus, come find me there and add me as a friend. I would love to see you there, everyone is welcome!

I am excited about getting back to who I really am.  The pas two years have felt like I was a lost raven in a sea of crazy.  I am looking forward to morphing this blog into something more exciting and fun.

I do miss my original park sanctuary, but I have another place that I do go to that is good for my path and gives me some serenity. I went there when I lived in this town before, and it can be a bit loud and distracting at times with people always there, but there are places and spots there that I can use to just be and practice meditation.

I began getting my magickal tools again before I moved out of my hometown and back here, I have the ones that called to me at the time, but I am still looking for specific items as I go along.  It won't take long for me to obtain the rest of the tools and items I need for my work.

I may even knit one of the items I need if it comes to that. 

The other idea is to buy cloth and make it by hand sewing then embroidery or using fabric paint to decorate it.  I like this idea better since yarn is a thicker material and the fibers can often leave a little fuzz and lint on what you are doing or may not be fire proof and catch my alter on fire.  

I will just have to find myself some good pagan patterns and see where this takes me.  

You never know, this could lead to other things that will prove useful for my craft.  Once I start on the path of being a crafty witch, I may become addicted.  Oh well, it isn't like I don't love making things and knitting.

As things begin shaping us for me, I am feeling the strength of Mother Goddess and loving every minute of it.