Saying Hello, Updating

It has been a while since I have written, but I have been busy recently trying to make ends meet.


I work with idiots and I cannot even begin to describe how beneath me they truly are.  I don't say this with arrogance, but with a sense of knowledge that I know more in this world and have an even more open mind than they do and I am sick of their attitudes towards others.


I am struggling to make things work financially, and it is taking a toll on me personally!


I will write again soon!  I have ideas and thoughts!

Happy Birthday Raven

I love my birthday!  

There is so much to be happy about and so much to look forward to.

I am 42 this year, and I am going to walk my path to my best ability!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! 

Last Gift From Ben Breedlove-Think About This A while.

Ben Breedlove was a sick young man with a heart condition, he experienced three instances where he died and was brought back to life.  The heart disease that he had was something that prevented him from living a normal life as a kid and later a teenager, he wanted to be like normal kids, but that wasn't to be the path God chose for Ben.  He gained a following on Youtube that was so huge that in the end, you can see that he touched the lives of many young people of his own generation...he also touched me after his death on Christmas Day of a heart attack.


He left two videos behind, telling of his afterlife experiences and what he can remember of the first one he had at age 4 and on to the last one before the making of the video on 6 December 2011. He tells of how the mind continues on even when the body is techically dead...the last time he had been gone for about 3 minutes.


I can only imagine the fear on the faces of the other students around him in the high school on the day of the last heart attack when he was in school...maybe this is the true meaning behind Ben's video...to reassure them all that they shouldn't worry or be afraid.


His remaining gift to the world was not the explanation of WHAT happens, but something else entirely. 


In the 7 minute video, he does speak of  his after life experiences, yes...but at the end of the video, there is MORE than anybody would expect....LOOK carefully at Ben's face as he tells his story in flash cards...the serenity, the FAITH it took to tell us what that is: 




This story was brought to my attention for  a reason.  A direct message. It wasn't about his afterlife experiences...or his experience with EMS and being unconscious. It was something more for me.


He spoke of being proud of himself, and I couldn't help but wonder if God was telling me the same thing....to BE proud of MYSELF too.


He also spoke of not being afraid and that where he went was someplace he WANTED to be,  and he never wanted to leave. Heaven-his heaven...it was a reassurance of the fact that it is not only REAL but a place of total love and security, especially when he spoke of his favorite person and song being played there...Rapper Kid Cudi.


Ben's message was simple, but he asked us a question...


Do you believe in Angels and God?


~Happy Reading,
Karollynn




Message to Ben and His Family From Kid Cudi:
http://cudlife.tumblr.com/post/14834941934/iam-so-sad-about-ben-breedlove-i-watched-the

About Ben Breedlove:


http://www.youtube.com/user/BreedloveTV
http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/12/29/texas-teen-leaves-behind-inspirational-video-after-christmas-death/

http://sfluxe.com/2011/12/31/kid-cudi-on-ben-breedlove-youtube-videos-funeral-i-broke-down-full-text-international-business-times/
http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/274634/20111230/ben-breedlove-funeral-streamed-online-fans-pour.htm


-To Answer Ben's last question:
  I do too.

~Rest in His Eternal Peace, Your Light Will Continue Shining Long Into The Night 

  Ben Breedlove
  August 8, 1993-December 25, 2011
  Thank you.

Vincero, Perdero-I Will Win, I Will Loose

This song is now one of my favorite songs. It is how I will live my life, and in that, I am wondering if I do it alone or with help.

I will speak more of Mario in the future, but for now, it is time to remind myself of this.

Vincero Perdero

Nei sogni che facevo da bambino
vivevo la mia vita come un re,
avevo giorni pieni di sole,
non c'era mai dolore.

Vincero, perdero
la mia vita vivro,
io da solo dovro camminare.
Vincero, perdero
la mia strada faro,
giochero la partita della vita.

Ho avuto brevi attimi di gioia,
momenti interminabili di noia,
ho avuto giorni pieni di sole,
io so cos'e il dolore...

Vincero, perdero
la mia vita vivro,
io da solo sapro continuare.
Vincero, perdero
la mia strada ora so,
ma da solo giochero la partita della mia vita.

Un re, io certo non saro,
eppure io vivro...

Vincero, perdero
luci ed ombre io avro,
ma da solo dovro continuare.
Vincero, perdero
la mia vita sara
come un viaggio lontano da fare.

Vincero, perdero
la mia vita vivro,
io da solo dovro camminare.
Vincero, perdero
la mia strada ora so...
Vincero, perdero
la partita giochero...
Vincero, perdero
ma da solo..

Translation:

I will win, I will lose

Ιn the dreams I dreamed as a child
I lived my life as a king
My days were filled with sunshine
And there was never any pain

I'll win, I'll lose
I'll live my life
I'll have to make my own way
I'll win, I'll lose
I'll create my own path
I'll play the game of life

I've had brief moments of joy
Endless moments of boredom
I've had days full of sunshine
I know what pain is...

I'll win, I'll lose
I'll live my life
I'll know how to continue on my own
I'll win, I'll lose
Now I know my path
But I'll play the game of life on my own

A king, I'll certainly not be
And yet, I'll live...

I'll win, I'll lose
I'll have light and shadow
But alone I'll have to go on
I'll win, I'll lose
My life will be
like a long journey to take

I'll win, I'll lose
I'll live my life
I'll have to make my own way
I'll win, I'll lose
Now I know my path...
I'll win, I'll lose
I'll play the game...
I'll win, I'll lose
But alone...

~Mario Frangoulis

~Translations by: Lyrics Translate

~Happy Reading

Karollynn

Let There Be Peace On Earth-Let It Begin With Me

It breaks my heart every year at this time when I read stories of desperation and pain...things that shouldn't happen do.


Yesterday a gunman shot and killed Officer Deriek W. Crouse while he was doing a routine traffic stop at Virginia Tech.  The suspected gunman may have turned the gun on himself...he was also NOT a student at the college.


The question remains as to why this person has done this...and was there intent to do more damage but because of lessons learned in the deadly massacre on the campus by one lone desperate gunman in 2007, campus and city authorities had been able to engage in new security procedures to protect students, did he in fact change his mind?  


Monday, a woman turned a gun on herself and her two children after a 7 hour stand off in a Texas Welfare Office over food stamps she didn't receive because she didn't follow through on all the procedures-fill out the applications correctly and failing to show at her interview for them...she died on the spot, her daughter, Ramie died two days later in a San Antonio hospital while her son barely hangs on to life today...the father couldn't help because he didn't know the where abouts of his children since they couple had been divorced and she had a record of mental illness...how she had gotten the children is a mystery and the father was trying to get to them.


I understand poverty leads us to do  many things we wouldn't normally do, and in today's society where we have a leader who doesn't seem to SEE those people who are in need, but killing children or in the previous story, an officer, isn't the answer.


Depression is the major killer of people this time of year...it is also the the reason WHY domestic violence and neglect cases sky rocket.  It is enough to make me cry. 


We can't go out and love on every lonely person this time of year, and we certainly cannot help all at one time to end this right this minute and that is often times my biggest frustration, and I have to REMEMBER that St. Therese of Calcutta (Mother Theresa) said we must begin with one, and continue to the next in order to change things for the needy...and to me  the needy aren't just the poor in pocket, but the poor in spirit and in mind.


When we read these stories during the holidays many try to shut them out and concentrate on what they can do for the existing people in need, but what about learning from the ones that it is too late to help? Why NOT think about that and ask ourselves what COULD have been done and what  CAN we learn from this to PREVENT this from happening again?  Even if we didn't know those people, can we use this for the ones in front of us.


We hear these stories constantly...the ones where we could have, should have all the time, surely there is a way to do something for that person we know will be alone this Christmas.


What about the woman who spent the first part of the year getting a surgery to live, only to loose her beloved mother near the end of the year? What can I do to make sure that, even though she has family near her who help and love her, she knows she is loved?  I already have the answer to this one...and I apply it daily...


We need to consider the weak of mind and spirit, be there to help when there is a need.


John Lennon once sang a song about imagining the world living life in peace, and it is a beautiful thought, but in order for that peace to occur, it must begin within ourselves, then extend to our neighbor, friend and coworker, before going out further.


Vince Gill sings a wonderful song that we play at this time of year called Let There Be Peace On Earth. The lyrics themselves speak of HOW that peace should happen:


Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me.
Let there be peace on earth
The peace that was meant to be.
With God as our father
Brothers all are we.
Let me walk with my brother
In perfect harmony.

Let peace begin with me
Let this be the moment now.
With every step i take
Let this be my solemn vow.
To take each moment 
And live each moment 
With peace eternally.
Let there be peace on earth,
And let it begin with me.

(child)
Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me.
Let there be peace on earth
The peace that was meant to be.
With god as our father 
Brothers all are we.
Let me walk with my brother 
In perfect harmony.

Let peace begin with me
Let this be the moment now.
With every step I take
Let this be my solemn vow.
To take each moment 
And live each moment 
In peace eternally.
Let there be peace on earth 
And let it begin with me.

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/v/vince_gill/#share

I think this is a perfect beginning, don't you?

Think about this:  this time of year is fueled with the thought of a single child bringing that to the world two millenia ago, and other religions consider this a time of love and giving too...how hard is it to show love to others if we love in our own hearts?

Please take a moment after reading this and think about who needs YOU right now-you and that person next door.

Christmastime For Me

Every year at this time, we all gather around our loved ones, we spend time finding those special gifts, and we bundle up against the cold as we go about our business. It is often a busy time of year when good will and bad show themselves in various ways and means...we give and we receive with equal joy.


It is a time when we all take stock of ourselves and we pay closer attention to those around us.  Sometimes we see those who are lacking, and we see those who are overloaded with a sense of goodness that it overflows onto us.  I wish that abundance would overflow from one person I know at work and onto another couple of people there, but that is not going to  happen anytime soon, and that is ok, because it will happen.


Christmas is always a bittersweet time for me.  I always love being with family, but when I watch my grandmother slowly fading from this world of her own volition, I get sad thinking that if she would at least try maybe she could be better.  I see my brother who has MS struggling with the financial issues that come with Medicare and Medicaid and wish that the burden could be lifted for him.  My mother, bless her heart is also having medical issues that seem to intensify with the passing of time, but she is always smiling and always happy-I just hate that she has to do breathing treatments after every activity she does that requires being up for more than 20 minutes. I just want to change things for them all....and for myself, but we are all together, alive and whole!  That is what matters in the long run and it makes me smile at the fact that we are all here.


This year will be a lot more interesting for me as I go along.  I have this new job that has proven to be very good for me financially and in many other ways.  I have more hours, better pay and insurance, so that I don't have to worry.  


I am still digging myself out of the financial hole I was in, but I am almost finished.  Come January 1, 2012 I should be in a place where I am able to do more than I will, but for now I can afford a little something for family members for Christmas, and that makes me thankful and grateful for the job that I have.  I continue to have faith in myself and my abilities to do what I must to get where I need to go and do what I need to do.


I am working on myself as well. Everyone knows that there are things about myself that I need to work on to get me where I need to be.  The list isn't too long, but it is a good one, and I cannot wait to start.


I will begin with Yule Eve...for myself...for the person I truly am inside.  


I want to be a well rounded human being, but in order to do that, I must strive to make myself be that more often and with gusto.  I must work on the new beginnings I wish to make and do it soon or I may  never do it.


I am making plans for the New Year for this blog, I want it  to be better, stronger and smarter...I want to focus on my belief in myself and in the journey I continue to take.  I want to be more active on my blog and focus less on things that make me shudder just being around them, but am still in love with...the good and the bad...I love what I do, but at the same time, I slowly loose interest because it can be stressful at times.


I digress...


This winter, I am devoting myself to spending more time reading.  What better time than when we all try to shut out the cold and try to spend more time indoors because it is prettier to look at than be in it sometimes.


I am going to devote a little more time to Jane Austen and my blog there, but I would like to read a lot of other titles that are sitting on my To Be Read shelf.  


I am always content to be at home alone with a good book and Emma on my lap as I read, with a cup of Earl Grey or a cup of coffee.  These are my comfort foods sometimes.


This year as the season progresses, I am going to be working on a new blog which will focus on my spiritual path, but this one will remain, along with the Jane blog and my writing blog.


Happy reading!

Kindle

I have found a new reason to get a Kindle today...


Not only is the Kindle portable, I find that I can now read while walking and save myself from carrying a silly bookmark whenever I go...


Don't get me wrong, there is something so nice about the good old fashioned book and bookmark...defining of a reader's character.  You see what people feel about reading..and I used a lot of things for bookmarks over the years since I am a book purist and HATE bending page ends, getting things on them or writing in them and marking them up.   


This would be perfect for me since I won't have to worry about ruining a book or loosing my bookmarks.


The other appealing idea behind electronic readers is that I can carry my entire library with me...if I need to look up something for one of my characters, for instance, I have the book right there with me instead of going into my boxes of books to find the one I am looking for, or have a whole stack of books sitting in one place or another. I have what I need at my fingertips.


The old fashioned traditionalist book lover in me will crave having a book in my hand and turning real pages, but at the same time, I am considering what ereaders are doing for the environment...saving  trees from certain death for my personal reading habit...but I think I will be alright.


Other advantages I found is that I can turn off the lights or sit in a dark place and STILL read my book because it has a back light to it and long battery life.  That would be nice so that I can turn off my bedroom light before I get settled in to read, rather than get out of bed to go turn the light off when I am tired...just turn off my Kindle.


I considered also getting the Nook since I already have two of Diana Gabaldon's books on the app along with a few more books, but right now the Kindle Fire is all the rage and it looks to be a good sound investment for the near future...I will be getting the Nook too in case I can't find a certain book in Kindle I am looking for, but for now I am going to enjoy the Kindle first.


Even though I will be carrying around my entire library on the Kindle, it seems I have to re-establish my library and buy almost all of the books again, but it looks like there are bargains, and I have a wish list so that each week or so after I get everything taken care of, I can order a few at a time.


I love Diana Gabaldon, Sherrilynn Kenyon, Gena Showalter, J.R. Ward, Sara Donati, Sara Douglas and a host of other great authors and I can easily find many of their books for cheap prices and some of them bundle on Kindle so it would be easy to get them at a cheaper price...though I just may go for the individual books and go from there.


There is a whole host of good books on Kindle that are under $3 and I can get some of those as well.  I do love to read.


There is also the easiest part of all, I don't have to visit a book store, I can buy and download a book in seconds from the bus stop if I wish to. I could have my TBR list sitting there waiting and start reading while I am riding home from work, or to work or on my breaks...no bulky plastic bags to take home.


Granted, there is something to be said about going in and exploring a book store and checking out all the titles out and all the fun things there, but for someone who would have to take a few buses to get there, or have to go to the grocery story to purchase them...how convenient is that when I would have to carry the bag home or on a bus when I do go?


Then there is the loss of Borders Books, which was very near me...that, I believe was the worst of all here...loosing a book store that carried all of my favorite Pagan authors and movies and good reads...and the erotic romance department was actually growing!


Soon, though we may only see book stores online like Barnes & Nobles (for they may end up closing their stores and relying on the ecommerce world for income too eventually, since their Nook is so popular as well), and others...what will be left may be the Used Book Stores still open and thriving because that will be all that will be left of the world of paperback and hardback book publishing.


Part of me is sad about that, another part of me marvels at the way we are progressing in many areas so we don't rely on natural resources to keep us entertained.


I won't get my Kindle for another few weeks, but until then, I will work on building my library on my Kindle app and my Nook app so I am prepared!


Already have Laura Stamps and Jane Austen all ready to go!!