Last Gift From Ben Breedlove-Think About This A while.

Ben Breedlove was a sick young man with a heart condition, he experienced three instances where he died and was brought back to life.  The heart disease that he had was something that prevented him from living a normal life as a kid and later a teenager, he wanted to be like normal kids, but that wasn't to be the path God chose for Ben.  He gained a following on Youtube that was so huge that in the end, you can see that he touched the lives of many young people of his own generation...he also touched me after his death on Christmas Day of a heart attack.


He left two videos behind, telling of his afterlife experiences and what he can remember of the first one he had at age 4 and on to the last one before the making of the video on 6 December 2011. He tells of how the mind continues on even when the body is techically dead...the last time he had been gone for about 3 minutes.


I can only imagine the fear on the faces of the other students around him in the high school on the day of the last heart attack when he was in school...maybe this is the true meaning behind Ben's video...to reassure them all that they shouldn't worry or be afraid.


His remaining gift to the world was not the explanation of WHAT happens, but something else entirely. 


In the 7 minute video, he does speak of  his after life experiences, yes...but at the end of the video, there is MORE than anybody would expect....LOOK carefully at Ben's face as he tells his story in flash cards...the serenity, the FAITH it took to tell us what that is: 




This story was brought to my attention for  a reason.  A direct message. It wasn't about his afterlife experiences...or his experience with EMS and being unconscious. It was something more for me.


He spoke of being proud of himself, and I couldn't help but wonder if God was telling me the same thing....to BE proud of MYSELF too.


He also spoke of not being afraid and that where he went was someplace he WANTED to be,  and he never wanted to leave. Heaven-his heaven...it was a reassurance of the fact that it is not only REAL but a place of total love and security, especially when he spoke of his favorite person and song being played there...Rapper Kid Cudi.


Ben's message was simple, but he asked us a question...


Do you believe in Angels and God?


~Happy Reading,
Karollynn




Message to Ben and His Family From Kid Cudi:
http://cudlife.tumblr.com/post/14834941934/iam-so-sad-about-ben-breedlove-i-watched-the

About Ben Breedlove:


http://www.youtube.com/user/BreedloveTV
http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/12/29/texas-teen-leaves-behind-inspirational-video-after-christmas-death/

http://sfluxe.com/2011/12/31/kid-cudi-on-ben-breedlove-youtube-videos-funeral-i-broke-down-full-text-international-business-times/
http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/274634/20111230/ben-breedlove-funeral-streamed-online-fans-pour.htm


-To Answer Ben's last question:
  I do too.

~Rest in His Eternal Peace, Your Light Will Continue Shining Long Into The Night 

  Ben Breedlove
  August 8, 1993-December 25, 2011
  Thank you.

Vincero, Perdero-I Will Win, I Will Loose

This song is now one of my favorite songs. It is how I will live my life, and in that, I am wondering if I do it alone or with help.

I will speak more of Mario in the future, but for now, it is time to remind myself of this.

Vincero Perdero

Nei sogni che facevo da bambino
vivevo la mia vita come un re,
avevo giorni pieni di sole,
non c'era mai dolore.

Vincero, perdero
la mia vita vivro,
io da solo dovro camminare.
Vincero, perdero
la mia strada faro,
giochero la partita della vita.

Ho avuto brevi attimi di gioia,
momenti interminabili di noia,
ho avuto giorni pieni di sole,
io so cos'e il dolore...

Vincero, perdero
la mia vita vivro,
io da solo sapro continuare.
Vincero, perdero
la mia strada ora so,
ma da solo giochero la partita della mia vita.

Un re, io certo non saro,
eppure io vivro...

Vincero, perdero
luci ed ombre io avro,
ma da solo dovro continuare.
Vincero, perdero
la mia vita sara
come un viaggio lontano da fare.

Vincero, perdero
la mia vita vivro,
io da solo dovro camminare.
Vincero, perdero
la mia strada ora so...
Vincero, perdero
la partita giochero...
Vincero, perdero
ma da solo..

Translation:

I will win, I will lose

Ιn the dreams I dreamed as a child
I lived my life as a king
My days were filled with sunshine
And there was never any pain

I'll win, I'll lose
I'll live my life
I'll have to make my own way
I'll win, I'll lose
I'll create my own path
I'll play the game of life

I've had brief moments of joy
Endless moments of boredom
I've had days full of sunshine
I know what pain is...

I'll win, I'll lose
I'll live my life
I'll know how to continue on my own
I'll win, I'll lose
Now I know my path
But I'll play the game of life on my own

A king, I'll certainly not be
And yet, I'll live...

I'll win, I'll lose
I'll have light and shadow
But alone I'll have to go on
I'll win, I'll lose
My life will be
like a long journey to take

I'll win, I'll lose
I'll live my life
I'll have to make my own way
I'll win, I'll lose
Now I know my path...
I'll win, I'll lose
I'll play the game...
I'll win, I'll lose
But alone...

~Mario Frangoulis

~Translations by: Lyrics Translate

~Happy Reading

Karollynn

Let There Be Peace On Earth-Let It Begin With Me

It breaks my heart every year at this time when I read stories of desperation and pain...things that shouldn't happen do.


Yesterday a gunman shot and killed Officer Deriek W. Crouse while he was doing a routine traffic stop at Virginia Tech.  The suspected gunman may have turned the gun on himself...he was also NOT a student at the college.


The question remains as to why this person has done this...and was there intent to do more damage but because of lessons learned in the deadly massacre on the campus by one lone desperate gunman in 2007, campus and city authorities had been able to engage in new security procedures to protect students, did he in fact change his mind?  


Monday, a woman turned a gun on herself and her two children after a 7 hour stand off in a Texas Welfare Office over food stamps she didn't receive because she didn't follow through on all the procedures-fill out the applications correctly and failing to show at her interview for them...she died on the spot, her daughter, Ramie died two days later in a San Antonio hospital while her son barely hangs on to life today...the father couldn't help because he didn't know the where abouts of his children since they couple had been divorced and she had a record of mental illness...how she had gotten the children is a mystery and the father was trying to get to them.


I understand poverty leads us to do  many things we wouldn't normally do, and in today's society where we have a leader who doesn't seem to SEE those people who are in need, but killing children or in the previous story, an officer, isn't the answer.


Depression is the major killer of people this time of year...it is also the the reason WHY domestic violence and neglect cases sky rocket.  It is enough to make me cry. 


We can't go out and love on every lonely person this time of year, and we certainly cannot help all at one time to end this right this minute and that is often times my biggest frustration, and I have to REMEMBER that St. Therese of Calcutta (Mother Theresa) said we must begin with one, and continue to the next in order to change things for the needy...and to me  the needy aren't just the poor in pocket, but the poor in spirit and in mind.


When we read these stories during the holidays many try to shut them out and concentrate on what they can do for the existing people in need, but what about learning from the ones that it is too late to help? Why NOT think about that and ask ourselves what COULD have been done and what  CAN we learn from this to PREVENT this from happening again?  Even if we didn't know those people, can we use this for the ones in front of us.


We hear these stories constantly...the ones where we could have, should have all the time, surely there is a way to do something for that person we know will be alone this Christmas.


What about the woman who spent the first part of the year getting a surgery to live, only to loose her beloved mother near the end of the year? What can I do to make sure that, even though she has family near her who help and love her, she knows she is loved?  I already have the answer to this one...and I apply it daily...


We need to consider the weak of mind and spirit, be there to help when there is a need.


John Lennon once sang a song about imagining the world living life in peace, and it is a beautiful thought, but in order for that peace to occur, it must begin within ourselves, then extend to our neighbor, friend and coworker, before going out further.


Vince Gill sings a wonderful song that we play at this time of year called Let There Be Peace On Earth. The lyrics themselves speak of HOW that peace should happen:


Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me.
Let there be peace on earth
The peace that was meant to be.
With God as our father
Brothers all are we.
Let me walk with my brother
In perfect harmony.

Let peace begin with me
Let this be the moment now.
With every step i take
Let this be my solemn vow.
To take each moment 
And live each moment 
With peace eternally.
Let there be peace on earth,
And let it begin with me.

(child)
Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me.
Let there be peace on earth
The peace that was meant to be.
With god as our father 
Brothers all are we.
Let me walk with my brother 
In perfect harmony.

Let peace begin with me
Let this be the moment now.
With every step I take
Let this be my solemn vow.
To take each moment 
And live each moment 
In peace eternally.
Let there be peace on earth 
And let it begin with me.

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/v/vince_gill/#share

I think this is a perfect beginning, don't you?

Think about this:  this time of year is fueled with the thought of a single child bringing that to the world two millenia ago, and other religions consider this a time of love and giving too...how hard is it to show love to others if we love in our own hearts?

Please take a moment after reading this and think about who needs YOU right now-you and that person next door.

Christmastime For Me

Every year at this time, we all gather around our loved ones, we spend time finding those special gifts, and we bundle up against the cold as we go about our business. It is often a busy time of year when good will and bad show themselves in various ways and means...we give and we receive with equal joy.


It is a time when we all take stock of ourselves and we pay closer attention to those around us.  Sometimes we see those who are lacking, and we see those who are overloaded with a sense of goodness that it overflows onto us.  I wish that abundance would overflow from one person I know at work and onto another couple of people there, but that is not going to  happen anytime soon, and that is ok, because it will happen.


Christmas is always a bittersweet time for me.  I always love being with family, but when I watch my grandmother slowly fading from this world of her own volition, I get sad thinking that if she would at least try maybe she could be better.  I see my brother who has MS struggling with the financial issues that come with Medicare and Medicaid and wish that the burden could be lifted for him.  My mother, bless her heart is also having medical issues that seem to intensify with the passing of time, but she is always smiling and always happy-I just hate that she has to do breathing treatments after every activity she does that requires being up for more than 20 minutes. I just want to change things for them all....and for myself, but we are all together, alive and whole!  That is what matters in the long run and it makes me smile at the fact that we are all here.


This year will be a lot more interesting for me as I go along.  I have this new job that has proven to be very good for me financially and in many other ways.  I have more hours, better pay and insurance, so that I don't have to worry.  


I am still digging myself out of the financial hole I was in, but I am almost finished.  Come January 1, 2012 I should be in a place where I am able to do more than I will, but for now I can afford a little something for family members for Christmas, and that makes me thankful and grateful for the job that I have.  I continue to have faith in myself and my abilities to do what I must to get where I need to go and do what I need to do.


I am working on myself as well. Everyone knows that there are things about myself that I need to work on to get me where I need to be.  The list isn't too long, but it is a good one, and I cannot wait to start.


I will begin with Yule Eve...for myself...for the person I truly am inside.  


I want to be a well rounded human being, but in order to do that, I must strive to make myself be that more often and with gusto.  I must work on the new beginnings I wish to make and do it soon or I may  never do it.


I am making plans for the New Year for this blog, I want it  to be better, stronger and smarter...I want to focus on my belief in myself and in the journey I continue to take.  I want to be more active on my blog and focus less on things that make me shudder just being around them, but am still in love with...the good and the bad...I love what I do, but at the same time, I slowly loose interest because it can be stressful at times.


I digress...


This winter, I am devoting myself to spending more time reading.  What better time than when we all try to shut out the cold and try to spend more time indoors because it is prettier to look at than be in it sometimes.


I am going to devote a little more time to Jane Austen and my blog there, but I would like to read a lot of other titles that are sitting on my To Be Read shelf.  


I am always content to be at home alone with a good book and Emma on my lap as I read, with a cup of Earl Grey or a cup of coffee.  These are my comfort foods sometimes.


This year as the season progresses, I am going to be working on a new blog which will focus on my spiritual path, but this one will remain, along with the Jane blog and my writing blog.


Happy reading!

Kindle

I have found a new reason to get a Kindle today...


Not only is the Kindle portable, I find that I can now read while walking and save myself from carrying a silly bookmark whenever I go...


Don't get me wrong, there is something so nice about the good old fashioned book and bookmark...defining of a reader's character.  You see what people feel about reading..and I used a lot of things for bookmarks over the years since I am a book purist and HATE bending page ends, getting things on them or writing in them and marking them up.   


This would be perfect for me since I won't have to worry about ruining a book or loosing my bookmarks.


The other appealing idea behind electronic readers is that I can carry my entire library with me...if I need to look up something for one of my characters, for instance, I have the book right there with me instead of going into my boxes of books to find the one I am looking for, or have a whole stack of books sitting in one place or another. I have what I need at my fingertips.


The old fashioned traditionalist book lover in me will crave having a book in my hand and turning real pages, but at the same time, I am considering what ereaders are doing for the environment...saving  trees from certain death for my personal reading habit...but I think I will be alright.


Other advantages I found is that I can turn off the lights or sit in a dark place and STILL read my book because it has a back light to it and long battery life.  That would be nice so that I can turn off my bedroom light before I get settled in to read, rather than get out of bed to go turn the light off when I am tired...just turn off my Kindle.


I considered also getting the Nook since I already have two of Diana Gabaldon's books on the app along with a few more books, but right now the Kindle Fire is all the rage and it looks to be a good sound investment for the near future...I will be getting the Nook too in case I can't find a certain book in Kindle I am looking for, but for now I am going to enjoy the Kindle first.


Even though I will be carrying around my entire library on the Kindle, it seems I have to re-establish my library and buy almost all of the books again, but it looks like there are bargains, and I have a wish list so that each week or so after I get everything taken care of, I can order a few at a time.


I love Diana Gabaldon, Sherrilynn Kenyon, Gena Showalter, J.R. Ward, Sara Donati, Sara Douglas and a host of other great authors and I can easily find many of their books for cheap prices and some of them bundle on Kindle so it would be easy to get them at a cheaper price...though I just may go for the individual books and go from there.


There is a whole host of good books on Kindle that are under $3 and I can get some of those as well.  I do love to read.


There is also the easiest part of all, I don't have to visit a book store, I can buy and download a book in seconds from the bus stop if I wish to. I could have my TBR list sitting there waiting and start reading while I am riding home from work, or to work or on my breaks...no bulky plastic bags to take home.


Granted, there is something to be said about going in and exploring a book store and checking out all the titles out and all the fun things there, but for someone who would have to take a few buses to get there, or have to go to the grocery story to purchase them...how convenient is that when I would have to carry the bag home or on a bus when I do go?


Then there is the loss of Borders Books, which was very near me...that, I believe was the worst of all here...loosing a book store that carried all of my favorite Pagan authors and movies and good reads...and the erotic romance department was actually growing!


Soon, though we may only see book stores online like Barnes & Nobles (for they may end up closing their stores and relying on the ecommerce world for income too eventually, since their Nook is so popular as well), and others...what will be left may be the Used Book Stores still open and thriving because that will be all that will be left of the world of paperback and hardback book publishing.


Part of me is sad about that, another part of me marvels at the way we are progressing in many areas so we don't rely on natural resources to keep us entertained.


I won't get my Kindle for another few weeks, but until then, I will work on building my library on my Kindle app and my Nook app so I am prepared!


Already have Laura Stamps and Jane Austen all ready to go!!

Genral Ramblings

Ever since I got my new phone, I have been obsessed with the android in the phone.  There is so much MORE to do with it.

I downloaded my Kindle and Nook apps to it, and spend most of my time downloading books onto them both so I can take them anywhere.

Yes, I know that the print is small and all, but I just love the fact that I can take everything with me.  The easy access to my library of books has me enjoying reading once again.

I still want one of each of them-Nook and Kindle, but right now I settle for what I can get.  And this is the next best thing.  

With the job going well, I see things clearly settled with me by the end of October and everything under control again so that I can save the money for these "wants" that I do have after taking care of the "needs", which are endless right now.

The new job is going rather well.  I have all of my insurances with one exception, and that is life insurance, but that comes soon.

I have so many plans for the next few months with myself, it isn't even funny.  I am ready to get back to being the person I once was-add new bits and pieces to me.

There are stories swimming in my head and I am looking forward to finally writing them down, and getting what I need to do done for the sake of ME.  No more putting myself on hold because I have to take care of others and their feelings and hurts first (there is one true exception in this one and I do plan to be there when she is ready for me....what she is going through, I have walked this particular path-almost dead on).

I want to get back into doing book reviews again...and with my new phone and with my new resolve, I plan to do so.  I am finding new reads all the time.

My Tea In Austenland blog will continue soon, and I will knuckle down and do the blog posts I am behind on with Persuasion and everything else.  

It's time to get organized and on track once again. To stop letting people play silly games with my head and DO what I have always wanted to do, and to stop letting things get to me personally.

I am inspired to write more poetry too, but nothing has come into my mind yet.  It all seems jumbled up with feelings that I want to go away before they affect my life and my world.

This new job is fantastic.  I get close to 40 hours a week and quite a bit of common courtesy and respect from the people who hired me....not as much from some of the people I work with, but they are good people at heart and don't mean anything by it at all. One in particular is a good hearted person, but he does something that is inappropriate for the workplace and I don't think he realized that what he was doing was wrong since he is always nice to me and those around him.

My kitten, Emma is growing daily and getting happier by the week.  I am glad I  have her even when she drives me nuts just being a kitten.  She can't help what she does, but as she gets older and I get her declawed and spayed, she will calm down more and more. 

I think Emma had a bad start with the psycho neighbor who had her before me. Our beginning was a little weird, and she is still skittish sometimes to the point where I worry about her.  She seems to fear sudden moves unless she is right on me.  If I get up, she seems to think that I am coming at her and she runs and hides for a few minutes. I only hope that time will help her calm down over this since she trusts me completely.

I love having Emma around.  It is nice to have her greet me at the door and try to climb up to my face with "Welcome home" meows and attempt at kissing my face.  It is also nice in the first half hour when she climbs in my lap while I am trying to get my shoes off and relax.

I think it is the sweetest thing to be laying on the couch and she comes up and curls herself into my  stomach while we watch a movie together or when I lay down in bed, with a book, she finds her way into my lap.

It is also adorable when I am sitting there texting with friends on my phone and she starts patting at the phone like she wants a turn at typing.

She loves to play with me, and she loves to "attack" my leg or arm out of the blue. Those moments are the funniest things.

I hate when she chews my things up or starts cutting her teeth on me, but her "Wake Up, Mommy" licks crack me up and I know that is her way of taking care of ME while I take care of HER.  She is one of a kind, and I am blessed to have such a little daughter such as her to brighten my day.  I only need to feed her, and keep her box clean and she is a happy girl, but at times, I can't help but slip in a few little treats her way just to hear her purr louder.  That makes my day.

This week, I took my first two steps in getting myself back on track.  I got my hair cut, and they took off at least three or four inches of hair.  The second was beginning my Clinique

The next steps are to get my eyes checked and new contacts or glasses and to get my teeth fixed a bit at a time...then it is on to clothes and a manicure and makeup...I WANT so badly to look like myself again and to feel like myself!

I look in the mirror, and while I do love the person underneath, it is the person on the outside that bothers me the most...I look like I stopped caring about myself and it is no wonder...I need to get myself back to normal and soon!!  Get back to looking like the person I am supposed to look like. I cannot wait!!

Lately I have been working hard to get my home in order.  I have a bit of a ways to go yet, since I have stuff in here that really needs to go in the trash, but I am slowly getting it there.

I plan to buy new dishes soon and to get all new things for a lot of the rooms in my home because I am tired of the place looking like I don't care in there either when the truth is that I am a lazy housekeeper and get too tired after I work to do things.  Of course, my old job was part of the reason-I was walking an hour and ten minutes for work and I was depressed most of the time because I couldn't afford to work there and I was slowly going insane with the way they treated me, but now things are different, and I am feeling much better about myself and my life and everything is going well all over the place.

As I sit here, Classical music playing on the radio, a bag of chips and a cup of coffee at my elbow and Emma close by sleeping, I am thinking how great things are going for me, and that I am glad that Karma is my friend...and she isn't letting me down despite the things that have happened with certain people this past week.

No matter what happens or what THEY think, I know ME and I know how much better my life is getting with each passing month and I am blessed in all that I do and all that I am, and I feel sad for those who have turned on me and think I am whatever because of their own ignorance.  It no longer matters, but I do WONDER, (not WORRY) about how Karma is treating them at this particular moment and hope She is being kind and merciful.

Right now, I am too busy downloading books to my Nook and Kindle and finding some awesome reads for the bus rides I take daily and for my lunch breaks at work and doing my thing.  Having fun and living my life.  Discovering new ways to go about things.  

I am happy to be me right now, and I know things will get even better!

Disappointments In People/Pride In People

I am a good person.  I know that for the last few months, Karma has been my best friend.  I never harm anyone, I haven't spoken ill about people, and spent most of my time worrying about them.


Through the fun of roleplaying, I have made many friends who share something in common with me, the love of an author, or authors as it were and been able to meet people who by their very natures are awesome.


Don't get me wrong, I have met some real wack jobs and crazy people and those were usually few and far between.  I never messed with anyone nor did I have much contact with them.


Through these adventures, I had the opportunity to meet someone I never thought I would meet...someone who was a writer and portrayed herself to be a nice person, though the meeting came through disgusting means and harmful people, it came and I opened up and trusted this person, I thought she was fantastic and wanted to be her friend, and wanted her to be mine.


After a while, things started getting weird, this person started doing oddball things, her attitudes changed, and I found out that she spent most of her energies on things she shouldn't have since she IS a writer after all, but it was cool to see her inspired on many levels by many of us online.


Months go by, and she would change on me like the wind.  When I wanted to know why, I would get non commital answers and no chance to talk whatever it was through and see where these things were coming from.  It was always about her and certain people she felt she was in the middle of-me and one other...which wasn't the case no matter what I told her...I only told her the truth about this person and a few times showed her and she didn't believe me.  That was alright, didn't matter she was still MY friend though she was acting like I was the childish one.


Recently she did it again, removing me from things where she was with the few exceptions where I had taken her out of so she wouldn't feel like she was being pulled or pushed into anything.


To my disappointment and surprise when I asked what was up this time, she accused me of some stupid thing about schoolyards and accused me of something that was NEVER true...she proceeded to sic the nastiest person on the planet on me...since I  had NOT been online much in days because I was working in my REAL LIFE and doing some things that were more important than be around her or talk to her (having cut the ties basically at this point, and asking my friends to do the same to cut off the drama all together since I was tired of going through the whole High School popularity thing again). 


This person portrays characters in Famous Author's roleplay groups and represents the author and the things this person said and threatened me with and continues to do make me sad because what this roleplayer is doing is making the author look bad and make themselves look like little yapping dogs...to the point of dragging in someone I love very much and would do anything in the world for...and doesn't need these two doing what they are doing at this moment.


I could care less about this roleplayer because he keeps getting himself removed for bullying people and causing mass confusion with the people who watch us and love us.  He will attack from one of his many characters, then swoop in on another and become your friend acting as if he hates himself and has moles in his own groups just to get close to you..he did this to me seconds after the bullying was over and I had made sure that he couldn't mess with me again. This is schoolyard...this is nasty.


The thing that is the worst is this person is a PUBLISHED author who dragged this person in to do her dirty work and has done this before. It is disappointing because I did like her and had a lot of respect for her as a person and as a writer, even though I still feel she needs a lot of improvement and maybe a dictionary to go with it all since she doesn't understand that roleplaying ISN'T about her, but about the love of the author you love, the character you roleplay and the fans of this author-which you are supposed to be one of too. 


Of course, I am not counting the stalking she does of certain characters and the way she ignores her own work and that is so sad.  Granted she has helped another friend, but it is the one she stalks and it amazes me the lies that have been thrown around and the childishness coming from that faction.


Since the bullying began and the "stealth" malarky that her little pitbull has been doing, I have not outwardly shown them disrespect or said a word about this author or this roleplayer, yet they are out there trashing me and my name.


Here is the kicker here folks, no matter what they do, what they say, my support has been growing.  My friends have rallied behind me, and as this third party in this situation is dealing with things that are not of the roleplaying world, and they are using this person and this person's absence and pain to make them believe I am a bad person.


Through all of this, the friends I have made in roleplaying have supported me, loved me and wanted to go out and DO something about this, to which I tell them not to because it doesn't matter what these others do because I have better things to do with my time than deal with them.  


I have found this support everywhere I go and I have found more people who are willing to stand behind me the entire way through and became a part of my family even though outwardly some of us cannot play together we are friends and support each other's groups and stand up for each other.  This is something that was created by me so that we can stop these people who treat roleplaying like a huge cesspool and those who blindly follow these crazy people.  


When bad things would happen, they just stood up for me, loved me and I love and respect these people.  I think of all of them as people that I want to be family with-in roleplaying and in real life.


So many times, I have seen the bad side of roleplaying, but recently I have made the move to stand against the bullying, the backstabbing, the visiousness of it all.  I am out to prove that roleplaying isn't a bad thing, but a fun thing. It is a way to meet new and fun people.


Since the end of November, 2009, I have met some extraordinary people on facebook through roleplaying.  From the two women who love to come decorate my walls, to the shy fan who just wants to say hello and is pleasantly surprised to have a response, to the roleplayer who, in character is one way and in private is totally themselves and worry about me going out after dark in the city (yes YOU sweets!), to the ones who shock me by saying that what we do makes their day and gives them some form of escapism.


And escapism is what roleplaying is...just like watching a movie, reading a book, playing a video game, or even writing our own stories. 


It is also a way for creative people to use their talents for improvement.  To understand how to write a kissing scene or a fight scene and dialogue.  It is a way for those who say: "Someday I am going to write a novel" to actually begin today.


Diana Gabaldon once said:  If you wake up in the morning and all you think about throughout the day is writing, and you sit down and write something everyday, then you ARE a writer.


This is true of these people I play with...these friends I have made since almost all of us are constantly thinking of new and exciting things to do to entertain the masses and further their characters once the book is complete...it is the continuation of the story, what we think happens on a day to day basis with the character.


Yet through all of this, there are still those who will use this for their own ends and means, and those who take it to the point of fantasy and bullying and that is what makes it hard to digest at times for me.


Someone meanly said that my problem was that I wanted people to like me and I am too worried about it and I should get over myself...well, the truth is that YES I do want people to like me, I don't want to be the only one at my funeral...and I roleplay characters by bestselling authors because I want to make friends and isn't LIKE part of that whole friendship thing?  Besides, my nature abhors the thought of someone not liking me for insignificant reasons such as the ones these people have.  


I show kindness in roleplay and I care because that is what the author themselves would want for the character and for herself/himself. That is the bottom line in all of this.


The fun part of this is the ones who make this worth my time and energy!  I see love all over roleplaying and I see kindness constantly being shown to all around, with a few exceptions...and that makes the one who disappointed me pity them too.