In the purging, cleaning, and general re-organization of my home, I have found my Wiccan books. I think that was what I was looking for because I began to re-read them and to finally start to discover a lot about myself.
In finding those books, re-reading them, and practicing a bit, I am finding that I am starting to become stronger in my own resolve in many aspects of my life and my job.
I have been receiving so much negativity recently that I have been near tears trying to figure out what was truly wrong.
I started wearing my protection jewelry as well. I am trying to prevent these people from causing me to doubt myself.
I think that I have also learned how to call them fools in Japanese and Korean...I have been showing my intelligence level a lot over the last week or so in a passive aggressive attempt to keep the trash from entering my personal space. By the amount of negative energy that keeps trying to fly my way, I would say it is working.
I haven't found a new place to live, but it will happen when the time is right. In the meantime, I am doing what I can to prepare financially and physically.
Finances still look very good, and more to come. I am able to do what I need to do while I save for what I want to do.
While the world is slowly getting back online, I am working to get to where I need to be, and with patience and diligence, I think I will do very well.
There are some things that I feel like I am missing recently. I keep having visions in my head of things that seem to be of the past, and I dream of people whom I have never met in this life.
There is one in mt dreams that I have always dreamed of, and the source of my poetry on Dreams Of The Blue Rose. I think I miss him the most, and I believe that I have either missed him this time, or I will meet him eventually.
I have also been missing people from this life...my stepsister, grandfather, grandmother, and my step grandparents. I don't know why I am missing them right now, but I feel sad instead of happy when I think of them.
It may be because my grandfather's birthday is in three days. I have been hearing his laughter quite a lot recently.
Don't get me wrong, I am glad that they aren't living right now during this trying time, and that they are not in any danger of the pandemic, but I still wish they could be here for just a little while so that I can reassure myself that life is good.
/Some of this is probably because of the changes that I am making in my life. It may be a counteract to the negativity that I have been dealing with outside of my home or it could be that I am hearing the calling that I should be hearing.
My spirit has finally stopped longing for things, so maybe I want to re-visit the past so that I can say goodbye and move on to the next level of life.
No matter how I look at things, I need to realign myself and continue on with the good things that I have been doing. I need to go forward in this next incarnation of my life.
-Raven
